He’s introverted, she’s extroverted.
He’s calm and collected, she’s a social butterfly.
He’s meticulous, she’s a little disorganized.
Just like magnets, opposites attract. I know of many couples who are completely different in terms of character (just like my mum and dad) and yet are together. Growing up, I never really understood this strange phenomenon. I suppose it’s natural to like someone who has strengths that can complement your weaknesses.
Alex and I don’t completely subscribe to this idea though. Yes, we’re different, and yet similar. We appreciate each other’s strengths and weaknesses (‘appreciate’ is subjective at times though) but there are many similarities that bind us together. After 5 years of marriage, boy do I appreciate these similarities! We love being around people, are rather sociable by nature, have similar taste in design (thank God, otherwise we might fight over house ID stuff), love the same God, and share the same values in life. Values like, no matter how tough marriage gets, we will never give up; or loving people trumps anything else in life. Bonus point: We love adventure.
Life to us is an exciting journey. I cannot imagine being married to someone who yawns whenever I talk about my photography business, or to someone who hates traveling. Married life to me means that I am able to journey along life’s path, sharing these experiences together. It’s these experiences that glue us together, stored in our shoe box of memories and help us love each other more.
I am contented.
Similar, yet different.
Photo credit: Jon Low
Clearing my house has helped me rediscover gems hidden in boxes and in files. Not only did I find old recipes my mother wrote to me when I was in university, I also found some old letters and cards I gave to Alex when we were dating. I admit, I am a hopeless romantic. On our 1st anniversary together, I created a simple set of handwritten messages for him – 12 pages for the 12 months we were together. I wrote these messages because I wanted him to remember… how we started, why I love him, and how our struggles can bring us closer.
So, though it’s a little embarrassing to be sharing this with everyone, I thought I’d include a short excerpt from this card (taken from my journal).
8th June 2004
I can’t believe it… Alex and I are getting together. I don’t know if this is the right thing to do, we both have our doubts and worries and are afraid of taking risks… but… our hearts… tell us to go forward.
Dear Lord, is this the right decision? And is this the right timing? Are we even compatible? There are so many considerations to think about… I don’t know how it all fits into Your plan, but Jesus, I commit myself and Alex into your hands. I am afraid of getting hurt, but if we don’t take risks, we’ll never know. There are so many worries Lord, but I do commit us into Your hands and give it all to You.

Alex and I during our Lake Toba holiday in August 2004
An excerpt from “Let Your Life Speak” by Parker Palmer
I must listen to my life and try to understand what it is truly about… That insight is hidden in the word vocation itself, which is rooted in the latin word “voice”. Vocation does not mean a goal that I pursue. It means a calling that I hear. Before I can tell my life what I want to do with it, I must listen to my life telling me who I am. I must listen for the truths and values at the heart of my own identity, not the standards by which I must live – but the standards by which I cannot help but live if I am living my own life.
As I was clearing through some old papers and files from my ever disappearing floor the other day, I came across my old journal writings. This excerpt came from a book I read years ago, when I was in the process of discovering myself and who I am. I remember thinking and asking questions like “Why am I on this earth?” and “What excites me about life?”
Ten years later – I think I have discovered my passion. Passion for people and for making a difference in other people’s lives. That’s why doing what I do now gives me so much satisfaction. But I am not at the end of my journey, I am still discovering myself, day by day. The day I lose excitement about life is the day I lose myself.

