1. I expect him to travel with me on life’s adventures, always.
2. I expect him to be the spiritual leader for the family.
3. He must be financially wise.
4. He must love my family too.
5. He should take good care of his health and physical appearance too.
6. I expect him to be loving, even when I am 80…

The list went on and on. I don’t think I am being unrealistic, but practical.

We shared our list. I am amused that one of his requirements is for me to have better memory. Like remembering to trip the meter after I pump petrol (one little thing that irks him a lot!).

Years ago, before we got married, we created a similar list. Except, I am pretty sure this new one is shorter. I guess you learn to adapt to one another as time goes by. You learn to compromise on some expectations and other times, to reflect on how you can change yourself as a person.

Someone told me once, men always go into marriage expecting their wives to never change. Women go into marriage, expecting their husbands to change.

I guess a lot of arguments stem from mismatched and unfulfilled expectations from both parties. Most times, we think the problem is with the other person, never with us (gasp, how could you suggest that!). 

Six years down the road, and we’re still learning to adapt to one another. Yes, there’s friction, but I think I can safely say, I’m darn happy. 

Photo credit: Anna-Rina

–

Death is inevitable. Death at 24-years of age, is unimaginable.

Ryan Smith, an average American bloke, met Bethany Schmidt at the age of 17 in 2005 and like most young adults, fell passionately in love. They were inseparable and did everything they could think of together.

Six years later, tragedy struck. Ryan learnt he had a rare type of cancer. Time stood still. Plans for the future were abruptly interrupted for the lovers.

Knowing his days were limited, he concocted a plan to propose and still get married to the one person he loved most in life.

With a mere three days of planning, a beautiful wedding was staged for 32 guests.

“Till death do us part” takes on a new meaning, especially when it is imminent.

Have a read of this story as chronicled in Today Weddings, on msnbc.com. If you’d like to read what Bethany herself has to say, click here.

All these stunning photos are by Clare & Kevin Kubota.

In conjunction with International Women’s Day (IWD), I collaborated with Capri Communications Sdn Bhd to bring forward yet another cause and purpose – to show how important it is that mentoring relationships are formed in every part of our life. The Women: girls campaign was created in line with IWD’s theme Connecting Girls, Inspiring Futures. The campaign aims to begin a connection to inspire and encourage a new network of exchanges between young girls and women. I think it’s really pertinent to life. I can remember many women I looked up to when I was young, women who inspired me to believe in myself and reach higher heights in life. My sister is definitely one of them.

The following series of images were created specifically for the Women: girls campaign. It features 10 local celebrities and 10 girls from underprivileged backgrounds. The photos were exhibited in Fahrenheit 88, KL for the past week. The celebrities share their thoughts on inspiration and what it means to them.

Some of the awesome thoughts that resonated with me:

“It’s a strong feeling and drive that I get from someone else that makes me believe I could do anything.”  - Julie Woon -
“Inspiration is that wonderful moment that makes you go wow and say, if she can do it I can do it too!” – Kartini Kamalul Ariffin -  

What are your thoughts on inspiration and who inspires you?

Julie Woon, Actress & TV Presenter with Gokila, 16 years

Datin Paduka Umie Aida, Actress with Valawanda, 17 years

Cheryl Samad, TV Presenter, Emcee & Actress with Sarimah, 16 years

Susan Lankester, Actress, Director & Producer with Wong Siok Leng, 13 years

Dira Abu Zahar, TV Presenter & Actress with Min Lee Hua, 15 years

Dynas Mokthar, Actress & Entrepreneur with Maria, 15 years

Sharifah Sofea, Actress with Yogenthini, 16 years

Anne Ngasri, Actress with Thanaletchumy, 16 years

Kartini Kamalul Ariffin, HotFM Music Director with  Mas Idayu, 18 years

Low Ngai Yuen, Director with Hee Pheik Wen, 13 years

So Chinese New Year was a welcome break for me, and then came February with some other Malaysian holidays (did you know that Malaysia has one of the highest number of public holidays in the world? So yeah, if you love your holidays, do work in Malaysia).

So we kick started February with a celebration dinner with the team – to remember and give thanks for the success of 2011. Since it was Weiming and Mark’s birthday, we also had a cake!

Standing (L-R): Myself, Mun Tzin (Mark’s wife, who recently started her wedding planning business, Milestones), Felicia (our Digital Artist), Diane, Johan, Alex
Seated (L-R):  Zhi Ming (Intern), Weiming and Mark

In February I went to Jakarta to photograph the wedding of Eric and Jennie. That was the first Indonesian wedding I’ve ever photographed. I loved it! But that’s for another blog post (speaking of blog posts, I am absolutely delayed with many of them!).

After Jakarta, Alex and I flew to Jogjakarta for a short holiday. We didn’t really do too much there but one of the must-dos was visit Borobudur temple, of course!

Actually, I thought Borobudur would be a lot larger than what it actually is. I imagined huge Buddhas four times the size of a normal human being. (I guess you can tell how much research I did before going on the trip)

I love traveling off the beaten track to the villages and finding photographic opportunities like these. When I started my journey as a photographer, all my photos were from my travels to mostly Asian countries. To date, I’ve traveled to Vietnam, Turkey, Egypt, Myanmar, Qatar, UAE, Mauritius, New Zealand, Nepal, India, Bangladesh, and naturally, other more commonly traveled places like Indonesia, Singapore, Thailand, Australia, US, Italy, France, Prague and UK. Traveling is a main part of who I am as a person. I am constantly inspired by the world as I travel.

Next on my travel list: South Africa and South America.

Last weekend, I went on another trip. This time round, the entire Integricity team consisting of different companies under one roof, went for a company trip to Pangkor Laut resort. (Have I ever mentioned I love beach holidays too?) We had an awesome time there just enjoying each other’s company under the sun. It was a pity though that not everyone could join us on this trip.

One of the other things I totally enjoyed was the spa experience. It was so relaxing and the massage took away all the knots in my body! (To our clients, if you’d like to buy the Stories team any gifts, this would be ideal… hint hint).

Now that it’s nearing March (gasp, where did a quarter of the year go to?), I am geared for another awesome year with the team.  We are constantly looking for talent to join the Stories team – so if you are a videographer or photographer wanting to shoot with us, do email me at grace.tan [at] stories.my with your CV and list of gear.

Alright, if you’ve made it this far in the blog post, I am totally appreciative of you reading all my ramblings!

It’s true, God’s love is extravagant. God has blessed us abundantly, even more than what I could have imagined. My heart is overflowing with thankfulness…I see the business flourishing, and I know God definitely had a hand in it. Every year, I make it a point to reflect about the year that has passed, and to give thanks for good and bad experiences. In 2010, Stories turned one, and now, we’re two!

Last year, I gave thanks for the 38 wedding & pre-wedding clients that we photographed in 2011. This year, the number of clients increased. Collectively, the Stories team photographed 58 different wedding / pre-wedding clients and 30 other clients for lifestyle portraits & events. On top of that, we had a great year with a number of different corporate projects as well.

Our team grew as well and we now have a strong team of 7 core members with other supporting members. Everyone worked really hard this year and I am thankful for such a wonderful team.

Johan, you’ve been such an amazing support to the team. You never fail to amaze me with your willingness to serve others and teach so openly. But what amazes me more is that you’re humble. You always desire to learn more! You’ve contributed so many ideas and Stories would not be the same without you.

Johan, being really flexible!

Mark, I can’t believe it’s been like… what? Four years since we started shooting together? What a journey it has been. I also can’t believe that you and Johan started out shooting with Nikon and now are Canon users. Haha… :) Mark, you’ve brought so much cheer to the team, and I know I can always count on you for anything. You’re easygoing and that makes people feel so comfortable around you. Thanks for your years of friendship and I look forward to greater things!

Mark, holding the reflector for Johan

Weiming, I still remember the first time I met you at our office in Centrepoint more than a year ago. You were really quiet and I said that you had to speak up more. Well, I’ve gotten to know you a whole lot better over the past year and I think you are such a valuable asset to the team. You speak more now, haha (guess you needed time to warm up!) and whenever you say something, I know it’s constructive. I take your suggestions seriously because I know you have good insights. You’ve been such a great Digital Artist and now, Photographer! You really have a warm heart and you care genuinely for others.

Weiming takes some time off during the shoot to do a little hands-on training for budding photographers!

Diane, I am appreciate for all the hard work you have put in the past few months. I know you’re really trying your best with such a steep learning curve. I am grateful that you constantly want to improve in everything you do. I want you to know that I see the effort you put in. You have such a great, bubbly personality and it’s hard for anyone not to like you. You’re generous, caring and have so much potential in you.

Our little booth at the Pitter Patter Journey Through Pregnancy event. 

Felicia, it’s only been 3 months since you started interning with us, and now you’ll be working with us full time starting in January as a Digital Artist! I appreciate your tenacity and desire to learn. You’re hardworking, driven to pursue your dreams and cheerful! I think these are great qualities to have. We have a long way to go. Keep on striving for excellence.

Since Felicia just joined us, I don’t really have many photos of her. This is a rare one taken during a wedding shoot. 

Finally, my husband Alex. I could not have done everything without your support. It’s been such a busy, physically and mentally challenging year and you helped me through everything. After a hard day’s work, I am glad to come home to little cuddles. When I feel exhausted, I love the little massages you give (even though it usually lasts about 5 minutes). But most of all, even though you are extremely busy yourself, you ALWAYS find the time to help me with my workload. This has been a crazy year, but it’s the adventure we signed on when we said “I do!”. I love going through life with you.

Alex helping the bride during our pre-wedding shoot in Nikoi Island.

I am looking forward to even greater and bigger things to come in 2012. I thank all our clients for being so wonderful, for verbalizing your thoughts to us and sharing about Stories with your friends! I have amazing clients. You’re now part of the Stories family too.

For a change, here are some behind the scenes photos of the crew at work!

Weiming & Johan

Grace photographing rings

Johan makes an amazing lightstand. It moves automatically when I speak!

We also discovered that Johan has amazing periscopic vision. 

Mark has since learnt the wisdom of not wearing all black for a beach wedding.

Alex and Andrew (one of our assisting photographers) during the shoot in Bangladesh early this year

Grace needs all the height she can get during the wedding

And finally, we sometimes get a little cuckoo at the office after many hours of editing! 

Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year everyone!

He started showing me photos of really beautifully done up kombis online. I was smitten. Slowly but surely, I became hooked to the idea. And that was how our search for the VW kombi started. We contacted some friends who were VW enthusiasts and they put us in touch with other enthusiasts.

And then one day, we found this:

And so, unintentionally, the date 11.11.11 became significant to us. It was the day we bought our new bus!

By the way, this photo was taken in front of SS2 Mall, our new office space! But that’s a completely different blog post altogether. Take note that I went the hippy route and dressed for the occasion.

The kombi is in really good shape (considering it’s like a few years older than me… did I mention that I am over 30 now?) The colour is perfect cause it’s what we wanted in the first place (our Stories theme colour is light blue and dark brown). Some even pointed out that the number plate is perfect for a photographer (CF, as in, compact flash cards). I felt as if God was giving us the green light to get this bus.

Our little kombi will be used for shoots, and will also be rented to bride and grooms who are interested in using it as a wedding car. So far, 2 brides have already contacted me about the kombi. Our aim is to get it spruced up even more, but good thing is that it already comes with air-conditioning!

I love this little detail that came with the kombi… the eyelid!

Alex behind the wheel…

Our first load of passengers from Integricity.

Now that we own a kombi, we’ll need to name it! I am leaning towards calling it Smurfette, but I am open to other ideas… so far, the names that others have suggested on Facebook and I find rather cute are:

Shutterbug
Little Blue
Droopy Eyed
Stories Traveller

Any other suggestions?

Just like magnets, opposites attract. I know of many couples who are completely different in terms of character (just like my mum and dad) and yet are together. Growing up, I never really understood this strange phenomenon. I suppose it’s natural to like someone who has strengths that can complement your weaknesses.

Alex and I don’t completely subscribe to this idea though. Yes, we’re different, and yet similar. We appreciate each other’s strengths and weaknesses (‘appreciate’ is subjective at times though) but there are many similarities that bind us together. After 5 years of marriage, boy do I appreciate these similarities! We love being around people, are rather sociable by nature, have similar taste in design (thank God, otherwise we might fight over house ID stuff), love the same God, and share the same values in life. Values like, no matter how tough marriage gets, we will never give up; or loving people trumps anything else in life. Bonus point: We love adventure.

Life to us is an exciting journey. I cannot imagine being married to someone who yawns whenever I talk about my photography business, or to someone who hates traveling. Married life to me means that I am able to journey along life’s path, sharing these experiences together. It’s these experiences that glue us together, stored in our shoe box of memories and help us love each other more.

I am contented.

Similar, yet different.

Photo credit: Jon Low

So, though it’s a little embarrassing to be sharing this with everyone, I thought I’d include a short excerpt from this card (taken from my journal).

8th June 2004

I can’t believe it… Alex and I are getting together. I don’t know if this is the right thing to do, we both have our doubts and worries and are afraid of taking risks… but… our hearts… tell us to go forward.

Dear Lord, is this the right decision? And is this the right timing? Are we even compatible? There are so many considerations to think about… I don’t know how it all fits into Your plan, but Jesus, I commit myself and Alex into your hands. I am afraid of getting hurt, but if we don’t take risks, we’ll never know. There are so many worries Lord, but I do commit us into Your hands and give it all to You.

Alex and I during our Lake Toba holiday in August 2004

I must listen to my life and try to understand what it is truly about… That insight is hidden in the word vocation itself, which is rooted in the latin word “voice”. Vocation does not mean a goal that I pursue. It means a calling that I hear. Before I can tell my life what I want to do with it, I must listen to my life telling me who I am. I must listen for the truths and values at the heart of my own identity, not the standards by which I must live – but the standards by which I cannot help but live if I am living my own life.

As I was clearing through some old papers and files from my ever disappearing floor the other day, I came across my old journal writings. This excerpt came from a book I read years ago, when I was in the process of discovering myself and who I am. I remember thinking and asking questions like “Why am I on this earth?” and “What excites me about life?”

Ten years later – I think I have discovered my passion. Passion for people and for making a difference in other people’s lives. That’s why doing what I do now gives me so much satisfaction. But I am not at the end of my journey, I am still discovering myself, day by day. The day I lose excitement about life is the day I lose myself.

It was the morning of our 5th anniversary and I awoke violently only to realise it was still early in the morning. The whispers of us saying “I do” from 12 August 2006 were brought back to mind, while I, still in bed, planned our anniversary celebration.

“Gas stove, frying pan, spatula, sleeping bag, tent, box of tissue” (and lots more), were added to my iPhone shopping list, while Grace continued to breathe heavily, enjoying her slumber. I had yet to tell her what we would be doing to celebrate our 5th year together but intended to keep it a secret till the last possible moment.

That evening, we left the office a couple of hours earlier, rushed home, and started to pack the car with the list of items I had meticulously detailed on my phone. It was then that I told Grace, “We’re going camping!” and like the perfect adventurous wife, she was enthused to go, instead of uttering a dreaded, “WHAT? But it’s hot… there will be mosquitoes”.

Reversing out of the driveway, we headed to the modern day market – Carrefour, to get our meats for dinner and some snacks, then proceeded to drive to Bagan Lalang beach at Sepang, a mere few minutes away from the new Golden Palm Tree Resort. Unfortunately, it was already rather dark by the time we arrived. We chugged down the beach with our belongings, under a slight drizzle and quickly pitched the tent with only a torch to guide and an umbrella for shelter.

Thankfully, my years of service at Outward Bound School came to good use, and before long, we were dry, safe and warm in the tent. We began with an entree of sushi, since it was still too wet to cook outside. An hour later, the rain subsided and our portable gas stove was started – we then cooked 2 slabs of lamb beneath the stars while listening to the calming sound of waves.

After dinner, we were quite exhausted from the events of the day and promptly knocked out by about 11pm.

I awoke at 5am to use the “natural loo”, and was in awe at the number of stars in the sky. I had no choice but to assemble the camera to take a few photos before rolling over and heading back to bed.

2 hours later, we both awoke and “washed up” in the camping sort of way. While I reignited the gas stove and cooked a simple corned beef breakfast, Grace was busy swinging away to her heart’s desire, reliving her childhood.

It was totally unconventional, but I enjoyed our simple 5th year anniversary. Here’s to the next 50 years, darling!