Just like magnets, opposites attract. I know of many couples who are completely different in terms of character (just like my mum and dad) and yet are together. Growing up, I never really understood this strange phenomenon. I suppose it’s natural to like someone who has strengths that can complement your weaknesses.

Alex and I don’t completely subscribe to this idea though. Yes, we’re different, and yet similar. We appreciate each other’s strengths and weaknesses (‘appreciate’ is subjective at times though) but there are many similarities that bind us together. After 5 years of marriage, boy do I appreciate these similarities! We love being around people, are rather sociable by nature, have similar taste in design (thank God, otherwise we might fight over house ID stuff), love the same God, and share the same values in life. Values like, no matter how tough marriage gets, we will never give up; or loving people trumps anything else in life. Bonus point: We love adventure.

Life to us is an exciting journey. I cannot imagine being married to someone who yawns whenever I talk about my photography business, or to someone who hates traveling. Married life to me means that I am able to journey along life’s path, sharing these experiences together. It’s these experiences that glue us together, stored in our shoe box of memories and help us love each other more.

I am contented.

Similar, yet different.

Photo credit: Jon Low

So, though it’s a little embarrassing to be sharing this with everyone, I thought I’d include a short excerpt from this card (taken from my journal).

8th June 2004

I can’t believe it… Alex and I are getting together. I don’t know if this is the right thing to do, we both have our doubts and worries and are afraid of taking risks… but… our hearts… tell us to go forward.

Dear Lord, is this the right decision? And is this the right timing? Are we even compatible? There are so many considerations to think about… I don’t know how it all fits into Your plan, but Jesus, I commit myself and Alex into your hands. I am afraid of getting hurt, but if we don’t take risks, we’ll never know. There are so many worries Lord, but I do commit us into Your hands and give it all to You.

Alex and I during our Lake Toba holiday in August 2004

It was the morning of our 5th anniversary and I awoke violently only to realise it was still early in the morning. The whispers of us saying “I do” from 12 August 2006 were brought back to mind, while I, still in bed, planned our anniversary celebration.

“Gas stove, frying pan, spatula, sleeping bag, tent, box of tissue” (and lots more), were added to my iPhone shopping list, while Grace continued to breathe heavily, enjoying her slumber. I had yet to tell her what we would be doing to celebrate our 5th year together but intended to keep it a secret till the last possible moment.

That evening, we left the office a couple of hours earlier, rushed home, and started to pack the car with the list of items I had meticulously detailed on my phone. It was then that I told Grace, “We’re going camping!” and like the perfect adventurous wife, she was enthused to go, instead of uttering a dreaded, “WHAT? But it’s hot… there will be mosquitoes”.

Reversing out of the driveway, we headed to the modern day market – Carrefour, to get our meats for dinner and some snacks, then proceeded to drive to Bagan Lalang beach at Sepang, a mere few minutes away from the new Golden Palm Tree Resort. Unfortunately, it was already rather dark by the time we arrived. We chugged down the beach with our belongings, under a slight drizzle and quickly pitched the tent with only a torch to guide and an umbrella for shelter.

Thankfully, my years of service at Outward Bound School came to good use, and before long, we were dry, safe and warm in the tent. We began with an entree of sushi, since it was still too wet to cook outside. An hour later, the rain subsided and our portable gas stove was started – we then cooked 2 slabs of lamb beneath the stars while listening to the calming sound of waves.

After dinner, we were quite exhausted from the events of the day and promptly knocked out by about 11pm.

I awoke at 5am to use the “natural loo”, and was in awe at the number of stars in the sky. I had no choice but to assemble the camera to take a few photos before rolling over and heading back to bed.

2 hours later, we both awoke and “washed up” in the camping sort of way. While I reignited the gas stove and cooked a simple corned beef breakfast, Grace was busy swinging away to her heart’s desire, reliving her childhood.

It was totally unconventional, but I enjoyed our simple 5th year anniversary. Here’s to the next 50 years, darling!

Yesterday was one of those days when the topic of finances came up during a discussion with friends. Whenever it comes to finances, I have to admit, I am really lousy at managing it. When I started work years ago, I didn’t really think about budgeting or planning for my future. All that mattered was that money came in, I didn’t spend more than I earned, and that was fine.

When I got married, everything became even more complex. Put into the equation a man who says that my shopping and shoe purchasing habits are rather extensive, and you have a recipe for arguments. He believes in spending more on fewer pairs, but buying quality. I prefer quantity.

So… I worked hard to earn all that money, right! Having more shoes means more options for a girl! :) I don’t really consider myself a spender, in fact, I am super excited whenever I get a good bargain – I’d rather shop at the Chatuchak market in Bangkok any day than at any branded goods store selling LVs or Guess dresses.

But you see, when I said “I do” five years ago, I also said “I will” to opening a joint bank account with Alex. And part of that “I will” also meant “I promise” to be accountable to you regarding financial matters, and he the same towards me.

I don’t regret it. I remember a story someone told me before… this couple had separate accounts and as usual, they split the bills for everything… he paid for the daily expenses and she paid for the house. They were happily married, but soon, their marriage turned rocky. It was then that things got complicated when she said that the house was hers because she paid for it.

Frankly, I think money can either unite or divide. People quarrel over money matters all the time. So when Alex suggests rethinking my shopping habits, I need to stop myself and think, “Is it really worthwhile quarelling over this? If I go ahead and spend anyway, ignoring what he says, will it be damaging to our relationship?”

Think about it, even if you had your separate bank accounts and one partner bought something the other does not approve of, would that not be cause for conflict too?

I can imagine some of you saying, “But it’s only a pair of shoes!”

Ok, so we had an agreement. If we intend to purchase anything beyond RM200 in value, we’d consult each other.

I am happy with that arrangement. As for my mother (who did give me that same advice at the top)… I didn’t really have an answer for her then. But now that I am older, I wish I had told her, “I don’t want to go into any relationship thinking that a rainy day will come. I want to go into this marriage thinking that both of us will make it work, come what may. It’s a permanent covenant, not a contract. It’s not to be broken, it’s for life.”

* Alvin & Melissa’s pre-wedding session

Five years ago, Alex and I said “I do”.

Time flies when you’re having fun. I am even more in love with this man today than when I married him 5 years ago. Perhaps I am a romantic at heart, I dream of growing old with Alex, walking beside him even when our hair is grey and our hands are wrinkled.

The joy of sharing life together is something I am grateful for every day of my life. I am so thankful that God brought Alex into my life, that I found in him a soulmate that would spur me on to greater heights, laugh with me everyday and go on little adventures together, even when the adventure is as simple as looking for laminate flooring.

A few months ago, Alex and I asked our friend Jon Low to shoot some portraits for us when we were in Australia. Jon’s an established photographer, and awesome friend. We started our careers in photography about the same time and since then, I am so happy to see that his business is doing so well!

These photos were taken in Brisbane, and it brought back lots of memories for me because I lived there for 3 years as a student. Thank you,Tania-Lea for the hair & make up! Hope things are going well for you there!

Alex, I am looking forward to our little date and adventure this evening… but more importantly, I am excited to think of what God has in store for the both of us. The past 5 years has been really awesome! I love you heaps, darling!

Thank you Jon, for helping us create memories. You’re a gem.

As my mom sat in her kitchen (possibly the last time), I felt a little sad to hear her asking for things like her oven to be brought up to KL. She said that the glasses in the cupboard are really good and I should keep it. Those glasses from the 60s with floral patterns and which were only used during Chinese New Year.

Reality is, we can’t move everything with us. That’s life. We accumulate material items in our lifetime, only to die and leave them all behind. What’s left are memories.

My sister discovered some stray albums that we missed in our previous trip back.

My sister’s and brother’s car collection. Should this go on eBay?

My little Lego looking set that I had since I was a baby (according to my sis).

My parents outside our home. My dad is still oblivious as to what is happening.

Next trip would be to pack some larger items into the lorry for us to transport up to KL. Then, it’s the final farewell.

After a long day of shoot, I just want to spend the day doing nothing much but just chill with my hubby. In fact, he’s making me breakfast right now as I type this. :) Aaah… now what would make it even better if I had a pool like this in my backyard…

Happy Sunday everyone! Hope it’s a restful one for you!

Towards the end of our trip, I decided to shoot some portraits for the family, minus one member who could not make it. Thanks Koko, Entioh, Roland, Adeline and Jasminne for treating us so well. Alex and I wish we could stay longer. Remember, once our home is ready, you are always welcome to stay with us!

Elisa and Selina stole our hearts… so cute!

And these photos were taken on another day at another park…

Completely not focused on Elisa, but I love her expression!

And yet another day in another part of Melbourne… gee I wish I can remember the names of these places!

Alright, someday I hope to finish going through all my travel photos and post it up online. I still haven’t looked at my US March 2010 photos…. so yeah! Client work always come first. But yes, eventually I aim to get it done! *just like my wedding video which I promised Alex I’ll edit… it’s been 5 years and counting….*

Seeing my old room in my uncle’s home where I used to stay for 3 years made me a little sentimental. It’s funny, I think I recognize the 3 plastic gerberas that are sitting in a vase in that room. I am sure those were the flowers I left behind 11 years ago. Gerberas were my favourite flower then.

After our first meal in Australia (dim sum at a Chinese restaurant, haha!), we went to visit Jeta Gardens, a retirement and aged care resort that is based on eastern values and philosophies. My uncle sits on the board of directors and ever since we heard about it, we knew we wanted to visit the place.

In Malaysia, if you talk about going to a retirement home, there is a stigma involved. Most people would feel guilty about ‘abandoning’ their parents at an old folks home. No one wants to be left behind at a place where they sit, stare at the 4 walls and await their ‘time’. At Jeta Gardens, there is a completely different mindset. People who come here are at various stages of their life. They see this place as a resort, a place where their needs can be met, a place to socialize and make new friends, and to be independent. Some of the elderly who live here are really able-bodied. They can drive, are fit and full of life. Then there are those that need 24 hour care.

I was amazed as I toured Jeta Gardens with its founder, Mr Tan. His passion for the aged and desire to care for their welfare is just so inspiring. The facilities here are just amazing. Everything is thought through – from the design of the homes (with emergency buttons everywhere, nurses who are able to respond quickly, doors that are larger than normal so that beds can be wheeled out quickly during an emergency, tables that are specially designed so that wheelchairs can come closer to the table), to the activities that cater to their social needs (mahjong tables that are electronic, games that help with hand-eye coordination, shuttle service to the city for shopping trips)… all created for the needs of the elderly.

And look at the garden view they have! What an awesome sight.

A little vegetable patch for those who want to do a bit of gardening. Notice that the levels are higher so that the elderly don’t have to bend down and injure their backs. Also, the higher level helps those in wheelchairs – they can be part of the fun too!

Some of the different types of accommodation available here.

Wheelchair and walker parking areas outside their apartment doors so it doesn’t clutter their space indoors.

Single storey units that have multiple rooms, the largest type of accommodation available here.

Daily activities and games

Mr Tan on the right in the image below – I think he can speak 6 languages!

Check out the specially designed tables for wheelchairs. I think it’s a great idea! It gives the elderly on wheelchairs dignity. One of the problems I notice (because my mum is often on a wheelchair when we go out for meals) is that food falls on their clothing and the floor often. Reason being that the wheelchair cannot go closer to the table so they have to bend forward while eating.

A special area designated for Alzheimer’s and Dementia patients take into consideration their behavioural patterns too. Rooms have personal photos on the doors so that patients can identify their own room. It seems like such a basic thing – knowing which room belongs to you, but for patients with Alzheimer’s, just finding your own room can be a challenge.

Just to end this blog post with a video snippet of this man Billy who is staying at Jeta Gardens in a separate wing from his wife who has Alzheimer’s. He visits her daily. Just seeing him sitting at the garden, holding her hand makes me happy. Now this is quality of life when you’re old and grey.

Actually, I wish the article gave a more balanced perspective, since they interviewed both my sister and I. But it was written from one perspective only. Well, at least the photo of us together is nice! Secretly, I wish that features like these would highlight my skills as a photographer, not as a sister! Narcissistic? Of course not! *grin*

PS: I know the paper above is wrinkled! My father was a little enthusiastic when he saw the photo of my sis and I.