We sat quietly for 10 minutes, penning our thoughts on a piece of 4R sized paper. It felt strange doing this exercise, yet at the same time, we knew that it would benefit the both of us.
1. I expect him to travel with me on life’s adventures, always.
2. I expect him to be the spiritual leader for the family.
3. He must be financially wise.
4. He must love my family too.
5. He should take good care of his health and physical appearance too.
6. I expect him to be loving, even when I am 80…
The list went on and on. I don’t think I am being unrealistic, but practical.
We shared our list. I am amused that one of his requirements is for me to have better memory. Like remembering to trip the meter after I pump petrol (one little thing that irks him a lot!).
Years ago, before we got married, we created a similar list. Except, I am pretty sure this new one is shorter. I guess you learn to adapt to one another as time goes by. You learn to compromise on some expectations and other times, to reflect on how you can change yourself as a person.
Someone told me once, men always go into marriage expecting their wives to never change. Women go into marriage, expecting their husbands to change.
I guess a lot of arguments stem from mismatched and unfulfilled expectations from both parties. Most times, we think the problem is with the other person, never with us (gasp, how could you suggest that!).
Six years down the road, and we’re still learning to adapt to one another. Yes, there’s friction, but I think I can safely say, I’m darn happy.
Photo credit: Anna-Rina