MusingsRelationships

Musings: A Lifelong Covenant

By 30/06/2009 12 Comments

It’s one of our goals this year to make the Wedding Story blog more interesting to readers. Of course there’ll always be postings of videos and photos of our work but we want to do more than that. One of the ideas we have is to share more from our lives, so that you get to know the people behind Wedding Story. We love to get personal with our clients, so we do hope that our posts will help you get to know us better!

It’s been about a year now since I ventured into weddings professionally. And about close to 3 years since I became a wife. I thought that over time, I’d like to share little musings and tips that I’ve learnt over the years, not just as a wedding professional, but also as a previous bride who planned her own wedding with the help of friends & family, and also as a wife, and perhaps in the future, as a mother (doesn’t mean I’m pregnant now ok!).

Most the things I’ll be sharing, I’ve learnt through experience or from another friend’s experience.

musings

Lately, I’ve seen a number of friends getting married and some getting engaged. It must be every little girl’s dream as they grow up to be a bride one day, to wear that lovely white dress and walk down that aisle. A friend asked me today, “How’s married life, coming to 3 years now?”. I haven’t seen him in a while, and though I wanted to exclaim, “I love it!” I thought to myself, “Would he really take me seriously?”

You see, to him, after being married for 24 years now, with 2 kids approaching adulthood, marriage is something that has declined to a state of existence. I’ve seen many people who started out with tears in their eyes, filled with romance, only to walk separate ways with a different set of tears 2 years down the road. A photographer friend shared with me once too that before she could deliver the wedding photos, this client of hers has anulled the marriage (after 6 weeks).

Marriage is something that can bring so much joy and yet to some, it also means heartache and loneliness. When I said my vows to Alex 3 years ago, I knew that this would be for life. I know that realistically, life is not a bed full of roses. But saying those vows meant that I made a commitment for life. When I got married, our pastor said that we are making a covenant, not a contract. A contract can be broken by any party whenever they find something disatisfactory, but a covenant is an oath. It’s something that I have promised to keep for life, between myself, Alex and God.

It gives me security to know that Alex has the same views towards marriage as well. That no matter how difficult times get, we would work things out and live life with no regrets. Saying I’m sorry could be one of the hardest things to do, but it could be the key to saving our marriage in the future.

Join the discussion 12 Comments

  • Jasonong says:

    Angie and I always remind ourselves that we’re thankful to have Jesus in our marriage for it is only when there is a Lord over us that we learn to be humble, teachable and patient with each other.

  • Bob Lay says:

    How true it is, Marriage indeed a covenant that cannot be broken. So agree with you!

  • adriene says:

    to add a point which is my personal opinion, i think that the act of saying sorry is good, but in the context of marriage, it’s not something to be said for the sake of saying it.

    what’s really needed is the mutual understanding, the values and the personal resolve to do better from then on to make it worthwhile. if those things exist, there is no need to utter mere words because then the couple just knows.

    but hey, i’ve never been married :)

  • sausheong says:

    My wife and I stumbled into this thing called marriage early in our lives. We have been married for 11+ years now and every day I am simply grateful and amazed that fate brought us together. No doubt we have our ups and downs but life without her is unimaginable. I am still totally head over heels in love with her.

  • Grace Tan says:

    It’s so exciting to know that there are people who are very much in love with their spouses through the years!

    Adriene, Yes saying sorry needs to be done sincerely. You can have mutual understanding, but hearing the words I’m sorry does help!

  • paulkongck says:

    so touch,, wish i can get a wife soon,,, u r a good wife,,!!

  • Asther says:

    Very well said! (or in this case, well written!) Francis & I are very much in love and we pray it’ll be endless. Our lives have changed ever since Haley arrived into our little family. Her presence actually strengthen our bond as husband & wife. ;)

  • janis says:

    Hey Grace,
    Not only your photos are awesome but what you write on your blog too. I totally agree with your views on marriage. I do hope one day, I’ll meet someone like Alex too :)
    p/s: Hug Chinno for me pls.

  • CL says:

    I just read this somewhere – an oath is one that’s made as to another person but a vow is one that is made to God. I don’t know of any other occasions when we make a vow to God. That’s how serious the marriage covenant is.

  • Grace Tan says:

    Asther: Really glad to hear that your bond is growing stronger thru Haley! Just remember to spend some personal time together without her at times. :)

    Janis: Chino misses you too I’m sure! I pray that one day you’ll meet the right guy for you. Keeping you in my thoughts always.

    CL: Thanks CL! Vows are super serious man. Ecclesiastes 5:4-5: When you make a vow to God, do not delay in fulfilling it. He has no pleasure in fools; fulfill your vow. It is better not to vow than to make a vow and not fulfill it.

  • Laura says:

    Great tips! I do think that working things out is always important. A lot of people will argue all the time and both are too stubborn to just apologize to each other. It takes a lot of apologize but it takes a lot more to admit you were wrong. This is a great blog to pass on to one of my friends who is getting married next year. She is really stressed out planning things, especially trying to find a Chicago Wedding Band to play at the wedding. But I think if I find some nice blogs for her to read, it will help to de-stress her and for her to look forward to that day.

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