LEO club and ‘berdating“?
This is how Vinod and Pamela described themselves:- “We first met at LEO club (those of you born in the 80s would know this). We coincidentally went to the same Maths tuition. We used to go “berdating” at the mamak near school and in Ravi’s Canai & Such and the USJ 4 padangs. We talked about anything and everything under the sun. It was quite obvious that we enjoyed each other’s company.”
On the actual wedding day, their theme was purple, and boy doesn’t that say a lot about their character.
A few weeks ago, I heard this question posed over the radio… “Is it ok to marry someone who loves you less than you do?” Reminds me of some stories I heard through friends, of couples who have been together for years, the sparks are almost gone, but one party feels obligated to get married because of the years of relationship. Or one person who threatens to commit suicide if the other party doesn’t commit to a lifetime together.
Not everyone’s relationship is as dramatic as that, but that question got me thinking… how do you define the quantity of love? It seems like a slightly airy-fairy topic to me, because my partner may think that he loves me with all his heart, but I may not think his love is as intense as he describes it. It also depends on each person’s love language. If you have never heard of this concept before, do read the book or do this free quiz to find out what your love language is!
Looking back at my pre-married life of relationships with other guys, I do admit, there were times I was heartbroken when I sensed my love was a one way street… and then there were other times that I broke the other person’s heart because I didn’t ‘love’ him enough, even after years of being together.
Deep down, somehow, I just knew that I hadn’t found the right person.
One that I could truly say I loved with all my heart, and knew without a shadow of a doubt that he felt the same way towards me. (despite our differences in love languages!)
The issue of security remains something every woman struggles with. Breaking up with someone when you’re 23 or 32 makes a huge difference. So I can totally understand why some women opt to marry someone whom they know is 2nd best for them, just because they don’t want to be alone in life.
So, to wait, or not… ?
It’s a risk everyone takes, but personally, I think, if you’ve said the vows, commit to your decision, make it work, and don’t ever live in regret.
It was difficult at first to work out the details with the couple because they’re actually based in New Zealand! Emails, and phone calls followed, and eventually while they were travelling up to Kedah for a wedding ceremony, they stopped by AutoCity, Penang and that’s where we finalised all details, just a couple of weeks before!
It’s an interesting wedding with the bride being half Indian, half Portugese and groom being half Indian, half Chinese, and that’s why the whole wedding’s multi-cultural! They had the Heng Tai-Chi Mui games but the groom is not present throughout, only cause he’s not supposed to see the bride until she walks down the aisle at the church, a tradition of the West :D Enjoy the Same Day Edit wedding highlights!
Everyone claims that they are not good in front of the camera. I don’t blame them, because most people would not have taken professional photos of themselves prior to their wedding day. Studio photos of you blowing your 1-year-old birthday cake candle doesn’t really count!
It’s the job of the photographer to make you feel comfortable in front of the camera. To make everything look natural and not posed (even though it was!). To make it seem as if the photographer was non-existent, because the image should be about the couple and the moment they are sharing, not drawing attention to the person behind the camera. There are times when I ask the couple to look at the camera, but most of the time, their eyes are on each other. Just as it should be…
I totally enjoy photographing couples in love. Connection is something that cannot be forced. Of course, living in an Asian country, where most people have some ‘issue’ with public displays of affection, it’s normal to feel awkward initially kissing in front of a photographer! In every pre-wedding or engagement session, I tell my couples that it takes a bit of time to warm up, but once they do… they end up having a great time!
Debbie & Chee Onn:
Debbie didn’t really sleep the night before the shoot because she was really excited! It was kinda awkward at the very start because we are both not really the photo taking type. Grace, it was good that you were around to get us warmed up! We did not know what to expect on that day so we were just following your lead which was very good. After the shoot, we were pretty anxious about the pictures. We were afraid that we didn’t prepare enough for the shoot.
But after seeing the pictures, all worries were gone because it was good and you captured the right moments! We loved the black and white photos too, cause it gave a very retro feel to the pictures which we like a lot.
Thanks once again, for making the shoot memorable for us. :)
My parents have just flipped through our album and they were just as blown away as we were! Thank you for the beautiful photos, it meant a lot to me to capture pieces of my island even though I haven’t lived there in over a decade. They blew us away…
Saw your post on the website and we couldn’t be more excited for you! Congratulations and we wish you and your hubby (Mr Grace :) ) all the very best.
Andrea & Stephen Takac
(View their portraits taken at the E&O and Peranakan Mansion, Penang here)
* An excerpt from Stephen & Andrea’s album layout