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Comma Videos

What happens after marriage?

Ever felt like life before the wedding is just PACKED with relationship advice and then it gets real quiet after? Think about it. Before the wedding you get all kinds of advice from your peers and other married couples, family members who generously share their thoughts on your partner or dating life, and of course – whatever social media directly or indirectly says about what a wedding and a “perfect marriage” should look like. Then the both of you say your vows, post up honeymoon photos, and come home to your new shared home. Before you know it, everyone has gone back to their routines and you both start to wonder where the support is when you need it most.

Talking to someone else about your marriage can be tricky. You always want to protect your partner’s feelings and reputation. People also tend to assume that whatever happens between a husband and wife “is to be managed privately” because “we are adults and can manage on our own.”

But nobody immediately turns into a mature adult on their 18th or 21st birthday, and nobody turns into a marriage expert or “perfect spouse” on the wedding day (or ever).

Yes, marriage is a journey between two committed persons, but as long as you’re Person, you will always need a good support circle no matter what season of life you’re in. Never be ashamed or afraid to reach out to someone whom you can trust, together. Whether it’s a peer, another senior married couple, your parents, a trusted mentor, or even a professional counsellor. In fact, don’t even wait for a tough day before you both share your lives with others. Include your community even on smooth-sailing days and they will know you’ve trusted them to keep the conversation going. It doesn’t have to stop at the wedding.

// Sarah has been married for over two years and both she and her husband enjoy spending time outdoors together.//

Follow our marriage and parenting site, Comma – Rethink Life for nuggets of wisdom on how to navigate these 2 areas of life.

Building a strong marriage

If you missed it, you can view some of the recent interviews uploaded on our marriage and parenting content page, Comma – Rethink Life on the topic of building a strong marriage. If you have been facing a rocky path after being married for 1 year, 5 years, or even 10 years or more, remember that you are not alone. There are many people who focus on the wedding, but forget about the marriage and working on it. There’s a lot of effort that goes into a marriage, and the journey is a marathon, not a sprint.

Here are 2 videos that you should definitely watch on this topic!

Please connect with us if you are struggling and we will able to direct you to a marriage expert who can help strengthen your marriage.

Follow Comma on Instagram or Facebook for more updates.

Comma: Respectful Parenting

If you are not aware, you can view content related to marriage and parenting at Comma, Rethink Life’s website. I will be uploading new conversations with people on these topics and observations from my own personal life. Here’s one that we did with Racheal Kwacz, a Child & Family Development Specialist. In this video, we talked about Respectful Parenting and what it is all about. She shared about how we can build the inner voices in our child’s head and raise them to be kind, compassionate and resilient children. If you are interested in attending our first ever parenting workshop co-organized with Racheal, please see the details below!

Toddler Wars Parenting Workshop with Racheal Kwacz

Racheal Kwacz is a Child & Family Development Specialist, mama tribe advocate and writer. As creator of the “RACHEAL method”, she combines her 20+ years experience working with children in the USA and in Asia with the foundations of “Respectful Parenting”. She was the Program Director for a national accredited child care center in the USA and has also developed and taught different programs for preschools in Springfield, Missouri, Pensacola, Florida and Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. She provides parenting coaching sessions to help you build and maintain joyful, loving relationships with your little ones.

Topics that will be covered in the workshop

+ How to respond to your child and deescalate a situation
+ How to parent a strong-willed child without breaking their spirit
+ How to work with your toddler through a problem
+ Words to say and helpful tools to set loving limits and boundaries
+ How to plan, prevent and stay calm through any situation
+ How to turn tears into bonding and create intimate moments that matter
+ How and when to pick your battles
+ How to cope with frustration and burn out
+ How to parent together and work with your in-laws

Rekindling Romance in Marriage

As a wedding and portrait photographer, I have seen the extreme highs that couples go through as they set their sights on the one they love, and say their vows to always be there through good and hard times. Personally, as I also speak to couples in my daily life, I realize that it is easy to let the flames die out all too soon. Often times, arguments happen over seemingly small, trivial issues. But it points to deeper, unresolved issues, usually parent and family issues from the past.

This is my 13th year of marriage. I have to admit, while my love for Alex has grown deeper through the years, I have also gotten pretty complacent in our marriage. I don’t make much effort to surprise him (ever), think of doing things that truly please his heart or even attempt to wear beautiful lingerie to sleep (I had to put aside my pineapple pyjama pants because of this).

We’ve gotten way too comfortable towards each other.

That is why I appreciate the little things about him. How he does make the effort to do things like taking care of the kids while I go succulent shopping, plan mini stay-cations in the city or just prepare maggi mee by candle light in our bedroom after a long day of shoot.

I love him for all these little things and more. God is reminding me that while it is nice to be the recipient of all these little acts of love, I need to invest in his emotional tank too. I must go beyond my own comfort zone, laziness and make an effort to bring romance into the marriage over and over again.

I hope you do too. Happy Valentine’s Day.

(oh, and if you need some date night ideas with your spouse, head on over to Comma – Rethink Life and check out this post.)

Comma Pre-Marital Series 04: Communication & Conflict

As a wedding photographer, I have seen many couples going into marriage with rose tinted glasses, so in love with each other and oblivious to each other’s faults. But just one year into marriage, it is easy to find the ‘honeymoon’ phase has passed and now, the glasses are removed, and both eyes are wide open. I believe it is important to go into marriage with a realistic point of view while maintaining some form of idealism.

Conflict will surely happen in any marriage. Unmet expectations can creep up easily, and soon, you’ll find yourselves dealing with more than you can handle. Don’t worry, this is really normal in any relationship. The important thing is to develop the tools to help you deal with conflict when it happens. In our interview below, John and Radiance are an everyday married couple, sharing how they handle conflict in their marriage.

And if you missed Episode 3 of Comma on how to NOT sabotage a relationship, click here to watch it!

Script & Content Development: Grace
Filmed & Edited by: Chi Yin