On 31st December 2010, I was at a private condo in KL with friends, ready to usher in the new year with gusto. I don’t usually fancy going to huge street parties on nights like these because I am not really the party-going type of gal. Plus, I am a weeee bit older… ahem, past my 20s. We thought we had a great view of KLCC from the poolside deck. And when the clock struck 12, we heard the fireworks… but didn’t see anything. It was then that it struck us… we’re on the wrong side of town! There were buildings blocking our view of the fireworks!
Close, but missing the mark.
I guess it reminds me of life, and how we often wait for a spectacular moment to happen… only to realize that we were close, but just missed the mark. What is it in my life that I am seeking? In the pursuit of success, am I missing the mark on things that should be important to me, like relationships? I vaguely remember this quote (or was it a comic strip) saying something along the lines of… “If you don’t have a mark to aim for, you’ll definitely hit your target”.
I am not a very ambitious person. I rarely set new year resolutions or goals. I suppose in some way, I am afraid I’ll let it slide and discover that I failed in the end. Like when I was 20, I set aside a goal to learn Mandarin by the time I am 21. Fast forward… ten years… I still haven’t learnt Mandarin.
But I do see the merit of setting aside goals (best if it is measurable). So, I’ll give it a shot again, and list down a few things that I hope to achieve in 2011:
1. Time – I hope to spend more time with family and friends. Last year, I slowly stopped my bad habit of working 10-12 hour days including weekends. I know that some nights, it’s not possible to put aside the computer and just chill. But in 2011, I hope that I can set aside at least once every 2 weeks to catch up with a friend that I haven’t seen in a while. And for family, perhaps a family holiday together in 2011?
2. Working smartly – In line with time, I think I may need to expand the Stories team in 2011. Either by hiring a studio manager or a full time assistant photographer. That would release me of the many tasks that I have to do on a daily basis.
3. Think of cool new ways to make the Stories brand better for all our clients.
4. Move into my new home after it’s been renovated. Related to friends and family, I hope to host more events at home and perhaps cook a bit more (or rather, Alex will cook more, I’ll support).
5. Plan for a family – One of my struggles as a female photographer is how to juggle work and personal life if I am pregnant. It’s been 4 years since I’ve been married (this is my 5th year of marriage!) and I guess this is one thing that I need to start thinking and planning for. I want to keep on shooting and building my career but on the other hand, I am afraid of the changes that will happen if I am pregnant. As much as possible, I don’t want life to change in that respect. But this cannot carry on indefinitely… so I dunno… maybe 2012? The only certainty I have is the thought that God will continue to help me through whatever challenges I’ll face in the future.
6. Church Ministry – With Alex, I am hoping to do more church or NGO-based media-related work.
Phew, huge list, especially to put online. Let’s see what the future holds.
even with the buildings blocking… you still got a great shot!
as and when you get pregnant… God will give strength! one step at a time ya. cross the bridge when you come to it.
best of luck, grace! and about building a family, try not to overthink it. =) you are resilient and smart. when it’s time to adjust, you’ll know what to do. and if you need any help, or an attentive ear, trust that friends and family are around to support. i would love to give advice, but not sure if alex would appreciate that. grin. =)
Grace, will pray for you :) Indeed not easy to have a balance btwn the family and work :)