A few weeks ago, I heard this question posed over the radio… “Is it ok to marry someone who loves you less than you do?” Reminds me of some stories I heard through friends, of couples who have been together for years, the sparks are almost gone, but one party feels obligated to get married because of the years of relationship. Or one person who threatens to commit suicide if the other party doesn’t commit to a lifetime together.
Not everyone’s relationship is as dramatic as that, but that question got me thinking… how do you define the quantity of love? It seems like a slightly airy-fairy topic to me, because my partner may think that he loves me with all his heart, but I may not think his love is as intense as he describes it. It also depends on each person’s love language. If you have never heard of this concept before, do read the book or do this free quiz to find out what your love language is!
Looking back at my pre-married life of relationships with other guys, I do admit, there were times I was heartbroken when I sensed my love was a one way street… and then there were other times that I broke the other person’s heart because I didn’t ‘love’ him enough, even after years of being together.
Deep down, somehow, I just knew that I hadn’t found the right person.
One that I could truly say I loved with all my heart, and knew without a shadow of a doubt that he felt the same way towards me. (despite our differences in love languages!)
The issue of security remains something every woman struggles with. Breaking up with someone when you’re 23 or 32 makes a huge difference. So I can totally understand why some women opt to marry someone whom they know is 2nd best for them, just because they don’t want to be alone in life.
So, to wait, or not… ?
It’s a risk everyone takes, but personally, I think, if you’ve said the vows, commit to your decision, make it work, and don’t ever live in regret.