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commitment

Waiting to say “I Do!”

A few weeks ago, I heard this question posed over the radio… “Is it ok to marry someone who loves you less than you do?” Reminds me of some stories I heard through friends, of couples who have been together for years, the sparks are almost gone, but one party feels obligated to get married because of the years of relationship. Or one person who threatens to commit suicide if the other party doesn’t commit to a lifetime together.

Not everyone’s relationship is as dramatic as that, but that question got me thinking… how do you define the quantity of love? It seems like a slightly airy-fairy topic to me, because my partner may think that he loves me with all his heart, but I may not think his love is as intense as he describes it. It also depends on each person’s love language. If you have never heard of this concept before, do read the book or do this free quiz to find out what your love language is!

Looking back at my pre-married life of relationships with other guys, I do admit, there were times I was heartbroken when I sensed my love was a one way street… and then there were other times that I broke the other person’s heart because I didn’t ‘love’ him enough, even after years of being together.

Deep down, somehow, I just knew that I hadn’t found the right person.

One that I could truly say I loved with all my heart, and knew without a shadow of a doubt that he felt the same way towards me. (despite our differences in love languages!)

The issue of security remains something every woman struggles with. Breaking up with someone when you’re 23 or 32 makes a huge difference. So I can totally understand why some women opt to marry someone whom they know is 2nd best for them, just because they don’t want to be alone in life.

So, to wait, or not… ?

It’s a risk everyone takes, but personally, I think, if you’ve said the vows, commit to your decision, make it work, and don’t ever live in regret.

Musings: A Lifelong Covenant

It’s one of our goals this year to make the Wedding Story blog more interesting to readers. Of course there’ll always be postings of videos and photos of our work but we want to do more than that. One of the ideas we have is to share more from our lives, so that you get to know the people behind Wedding Story. We love to get personal with our clients, so we do hope that our posts will help you get to know us better!

It’s been about a year now since I ventured into weddings professionally. And about close to 3 years since I became a wife. I thought that over time, I’d like to share little musings and tips that I’ve learnt over the years, not just as a wedding professional, but also as a previous bride who planned her own wedding with the help of friends & family, and also as a wife, and perhaps in the future, as a mother (doesn’t mean I’m pregnant now ok!).

Most the things I’ll be sharing, I’ve learnt through experience or from another friend’s experience.

musings

Lately, I’ve seen a number of friends getting married and some getting engaged. It must be every little girl’s dream as they grow up to be a bride one day, to wear that lovely white dress and walk down that aisle. A friend asked me today, “How’s married life, coming to 3 years now?”. I haven’t seen him in a while, and though I wanted to exclaim, “I love it!” I thought to myself, “Would he really take me seriously?”

You see, to him, after being married for 24 years now, with 2 kids approaching adulthood, marriage is something that has declined to a state of existence. I’ve seen many people who started out with tears in their eyes, filled with romance, only to walk separate ways with a different set of tears 2 years down the road. A photographer friend shared with me once too that before she could deliver the wedding photos, this client of hers has anulled the marriage (after 6 weeks).

Marriage is something that can bring so much joy and yet to some, it also means heartache and loneliness. When I said my vows to Alex 3 years ago, I knew that this would be for life. I know that realistically, life is not a bed full of roses. But saying those vows meant that I made a commitment for life. When I got married, our pastor said that we are making a covenant, not a contract. A contract can be broken by any party whenever they find something disatisfactory, but a covenant is an oath. It’s something that I have promised to keep for life, between myself, Alex and God.

It gives me security to know that Alex has the same views towards marriage as well. That no matter how difficult times get, we would work things out and live life with no regrets. Saying I’m sorry could be one of the hardest things to do, but it could be the key to saving our marriage in the future.