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Happy 4th Birthday, little Krysta

20160813-ALEX_GRACE_10TH_ANNIVERSARY-151Dear Krysta,

It’s been an amazing 4 years together, as your mum. One day, when you read this, know that I love you fiercely with all my heart. We’ve shared laughter together, tears, and silly moments practicing karate chops on imaginary bad people during our storytelling sessions. Just yesterday, I struggled through the day being your mum… it started out as a great day, going out with your Ee Ee (aunty Lina) to the mall…but when we came home, you were really tired and I had a really hard 3 hours with you and your brother, trying to put 2 over-tired toddlers down for their afternoon nap. After 1 hour, I realised a nap is nowhere in sight, so I decided we’ll just have an early dinner and put you to bed.

I guess it’s a combination of me being overly tired too, and temper tantrum outbursts that led me to my own outburst. I am sorry for the times I scolded and disciplined you out of my own anger. Part of me wants an obedient, compliant child, but I know that you have a mind of your own and sometimes, our personalities clash, resulting in crying moments (for both of us). You touched my heart when you saw my tears and took a tissue to wipe the tears away, and suggested that I drank water so I felt better.

I pray that you will grow up to be an amazing woman of God, who is kind, thoughtful and loves people fiercely too. You have a heart of excellence and your meticulous nature reminds me of your dad, who always wants to do things well. I see my own imperfections as I raise you up, and I know that this is God’s way of moulding me to be a better mother too. Love you so much.

Mum

Krysta-1 Krysta-2 Krysta-3Krysta-4

The birth of Kyle

20141030_KYLE_EZRA_LAM_182I must truly give thanks to God for the birth of my two children, Krysta and Kyle. Everything from conception to birth is really a testimony of how good God is. For someone like me who has irregular menstrual cycles (once every 4 months?), I am firstly quite amazed that I could even conceive in the first place. I remember after I stopped breastfeeding Krysta, my period only appeared once and then in March this year, my pregnancy test kit proved positive! God is indeed good!

Kyle was due on 1st of November 2014, but around the first week of October, I started having really bad cramps that I could not explain. The pain was excruciating and came frequently, so much so that one day, I thought that I was having contractions as I could feel an intense pain every 5 minutes. That Tuesday morning, I went to my hospital for a check up and during the scan, was told that I wasn’t having contractions and the baby and water bag was fine. It was then that I discovered I had urinary tract infection and was given a round of antibiotics to cure it.

But two days passed by and my pain was still there. I just endured it but on Wednesday night, it was really so painful after every cramp that I had to stop doing whatever I was doing and allow the pain to pass. The next morning I was due for my final pre-wedding photo shoot before my scheduled c-sec the following week (Kyle was in breech position). That night, I called my staff to standby for the shoot the next day in case I couldn’t go because of my intense pain.

I guess God had other plans because that Thursday morning, I noticed a bloody show on my underwear and realised that labour had already started! Once we reached the hospital and did a scan, we realised I was already 4cm dilated and was experiencing contractions! (and to think I was about to head out for a shoot!). Kyle was under distress and his heartbeat was slow every time a contraction came. Within half an hour, I was in the operating theatre and during the operation, my gynae said that my water bag had burst some time back as I was completely dry. But despite of all that drama, Kyle was born safely on the 9th of October 2014 at only 1.99kg.

By the way, Kyle’s name means “Victorious!”

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