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Time and The Notion of Success

Recently, a series of events has caused me to think about life, our notion of success and what we do with our time. I came across this post by one of my favourite photographers Jasmine Star, where she talked about the notion of busyness, and how oftentimes, we equate it with success.

“Oh, you’re busy? Your business must be very successful then!”

But she pointed out in her post that rest and relaxation are equal indicators of success… that it is important to have a work-life balance and have time for friends and family members.

A week ago, Alex and I started the first of a series of parenting classes conducted by our church. In this course, we watched a DVD with real, parenting issues as brought up by Nicky and Sila, the trainers. Then we discussed these issues between us and also in a small group setting. Through this course, we were reminded that children really need to feel loved and that one of the ways of filling their emotional tank is to spend intentional time with them.

One of the pitfalls of running your own business is the need to ‘constantly’ work 24-7. There were days when Alex and I would be sitting in bed, but both still replying emails or doing some form of work. It came to a point that I thought it was really unhealthy and we needed to set aside boundaries for ourselves. How easy it is to let time slide by, just doing things that consume us at that point in time, but not really things that are truly important!

In the video for the 1st week, a dad related the story of how he used to tell bedtime stories to his daughter, but every so often, his phone would ring, and she would plead with him to just ignore it and finish the story. He would say, “This is important…” and then one phone call led to another and another, and then half an hour later, he would come back to her room with her fast asleep with the light still on and the book next to her head. But now, if you ask him, he can’t remember a single one of those calls that were ‘truly’ important, or what the content of them were.

It is really my heart’s desire to set aside time for the things that matter in life. The thing is that busyness will always be there. It will always consume us and before we know it, a day has gone by, and then a week, and then a month, or a year. If I don’t make intentional time for my family, or for friends, I’ll soon discover that all I ever did was being ‘busy’ with daily life and tasks.

To end this post, I’d just like to share a little video that Alex and I made. The journey of being a parent has been really amazing and one that we wouldn’t trade for the world. I used to think that being pregnant was a bit of a nuisance and a necessary ‘evil’, especially as a photographer. But after going through it with my first child, I realized there is no real convenient time to be pregnant. It shouldn’t be thought of as a burden, but as a gift. A beautiful gift from God.

Trailer: Krysta+Kyle from Stories on Vimeo.

Extended Family Portraits: Irwin & Vanessa

We photographed both Irwin and Vanessa’s family over 2 sessions, and while they were fun in their own different ways, the whole purpose and gist of these shoots is best summarized through Vanessa’s open and honest sharing below, which she has graciously allowed me to repost here. Vanessa, thank you for reminding us about how sovereign God is, but also to appreciate the daily, little things in life, and most importantly, relationships around us.

Vanessa’s Story

“In July 2013, my dad was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease – a degenerative neurological condition that doctors say is incurable.

My dad is one who comes across as a charismatic leader, always enthusiastic about work and life; never defeated by challenges no matter how big. Although the brut he may be at times (I know this because I work for him), I know I can always count on him for solutions to all my problems.

After learning of his condition, for many months, I lived in denial and could not come to terms with his diagnosis. For me, I just could not reconcile how a global entrepreneur like him, so respected in the industry could be ‘taken’ by such a degenerative, incurable disease. And I thought to myself, how could I ever speak of it to anyone for fear of ruining our business and reputation?

However, my dad has taken a totally opposite approach from Day 1 after being diagnosed of his condition! He has spoken openly about it to everyone – And in his Christmas whatsapp message to our Family group chat, this is what he wrote:

“I feel privileged to be chosen by God (to have PD). He is using me for His plan and purpose. He may continue to allow my condition to deteriorate to such an obvious physical extent before His miraculous and complete restoration. Eventually God wants all my friends globally to know that He is still in control of the situation if we turn to Him. He can perform miracles as we have seen in our families.”

I don’t know what tomorrow will bring for my dad’s health, but I have decided that every day from now till then is yet another day to rejoice and to be thankful for. I thought it would be apt to organize this photo session just to capture this moment of our lives – that despite life’s changes and uncertainties, we still find our strength in a God who is constant and ever faithful.”

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Family Portraits: Simon & Monique

Simon and Monique live in the UK, but were back for a short holiday in Malaysia, where they decided to have a family shoot together. Unfortunately, on the day of the shoot, they got terribly lost getting to our shoot location since they haven’t been driving around Malaysian roads for a while. Monique’s mom, dad and aunt had arrived but we had to try our best to give them manual directions since she didn’t have a smart phone on her. I can’t believe how much we rely on Google maps and GPS etc. I remember years ago, I had to read and place stickers on a STREET DIRECTORY book before I head out for any shoot. Needless to say, getting there was a huge source of stress for me.

Well, eventually, they found their way, but was naturally quite flustered by the time they got to the location. I had the task of calming everyone down and having to come up with beautiful family photos, and make a good experience out of it. So a photographer’s job not only involves technical aspects, but people skills too, all the time! Good thing was that grandparents immediately smiled when they saw cute little Ethan. It was his first time seeing his Malaysian family on this trip! What a trooper he was, cause I am sure it wasn’t easy posing and smiling in humid KL weather.

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Reconnecting: New Zealand and Australia

I recently took 2 weeks off and headed south to the beautiful land where orcs, hobbits and dragons reside (if only in movies). It was a good time spent with my husband Alex, daughter Krysta and my 2 elderly aunts, Yan (from Melbourne) and Choo (from Malacca). Our main purpose in traveling to Australia was my aunt Yan’s 70th birthday celebration in Melbourne. But before that, we had a little road trip of our own.

I had a marvellous time driving past scenic mountains, quaint villages and lots and lots of sheep. It was a good time reconnecting with family members and just making time for each other. I spent hours playing with Krysta, moving stickers from the sheet to the floor, to my face… lots of time walking and having long conversations about life and family, jumping on the trampoline with a friend’s 6 year old in Auckland, and playing charades in a picnic with all my relatives in Melbourne (age group ranging from 16 months to 70+). What a blast!

It reminded me that we need to take time off to smell the roses and connect with people around us in the midst of our busy schedules. I read this article recently about 50 reasons why you may be unhappy in life, and one of the many listed were neglecting personal relationships. I believe that with all my heart. There’s this desire in every one of us to connect on a deeper level with other people around us, and if that connection is broken, our lives feel a little empty. Perhaps it is from a hurt or unforgiveness from the past. Maybe it is time to let go, and find out way back again, and reconnect.

OnthewaytoMilford

On another note, I often get comments on how easy Krysta is as a little traveler. Here are some of my thoughts on how to make life easier while traveling with a baby.

1. Pack light, wash clothes and only bring what is absolutely necessary! (Leave that flask behind… including all sorts of ‘nice to haves’ at home. You can probably make do without some of your usual comforts. We only packed these items for Krysta – some clothes, 2 milk bottles, milk powder, diapers, pacifiers, 2 pairs of shoes, a pack of stickers, a small amount of dishwashing liquid to clean the bottles, stroller, Baby Bjorn, no toys)

2. Find creative ways to keep the child entertained – This includes letting her play with everyday items like clothes pegs found at the apartment where we stayed at.

3. Train the child to sleep anywhere – Ok I guess not every family is like ours, but Krysta has been traveling since she was 2 months old, so she is used to sleeping anywhere and everywhere, including on top of a table at a street hawker stall in Bangkok while she was 2 months old! (I might get some bad rep here for doing things like these by other parents!)

4. Be flexible – Well, don’t be too stressed about planning every little detail for your trip. If it doesn’t work out, or baby is cranky, just take it in stride and be flexible enough to change plans at the last minute.

Hope that helps! Here’s a little smattering of photos from my trip.

The beautiful and most photographed church in Lake Tekapo – The Church of the Good Shepherd.

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Law Family Portraits

Julia is a dear friend who shares the same faith, (almost) same passion in scuba diving – she is definitely more passionate on this one, and is someone who is fiercely loyal when it comes to friendships. I truly appreciate all the years of sharing our hearts out, our makan sessions, and fun trips with the cell group to Taman Negara etc.

It was a beautiful sunny morning when we headed out to a nearby park for some family portraits. Her family hadn’t done something like this for years… so naturally Julia was a little hesitant about how the photos would turn out! I totally understand that if you’re used to taking photos in a studio with a tie-dyed background, these kind of portraits would be something out of your comfort zone. My first ever professional family portrait was taken when I was 21, so yeah, I know how it feels!

But everyone had a blast, and Julia’s family was easy to photograph. It was entirely our pleasure, Julia. :)

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