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Lessons I Learnt in 14 Years of Marriage

It was 14 years ago, exactly on this date that I said my vows at my dream wedding. I had 200 guests seated at the garden of the Palace of the Golden Horses, all dressed in shades of purple or white. It was the perfect day. There was a cool breeze that day, and everything went smoothly, despite a little accident that broke a portion of the trishaw I was transporting from Malacca for the ceremony that day.

14 years flew by, it wasn’t short, but it didn’t feel so long either. I do not remember the personalised vows I said that day but thank God for videos…all the memories were recorded beautifully. I was an idealistic 27 year old bride. I believed in true love and I found it. But I didn’t know how much work it takes to stay in love.

I’ve learnt many lessons over these 14 years. It took me some time to learn them, so if I could speak to my 27 year old self, I’d say…

The romance may disappear but true love is deeper than just feelings

The commitment we made to one another that day was the seal that brought us together. The heart palpitations faded after a while, but it didn’t mean I was less in love with the man I married so many years ago. The love I feel now is much deeper because of my understanding of who he is, and how much he tries to make things work for the family.

Change yourself first

We had a difficult first year of marriage trying to understand each other. In between tears and feelings of insecurity, I had to come to terms with my own weaknesses. If you accept responsibility for your own actions, your marriage will thank you for it.

If you want the fun and adventure to carry on, you need to make time for it

Life goes on after a while. The bills need to get paid, children come along, and soon, the only excitement you get is to choose which movie to watch on Netflix that night. We really had to make time for date nights where we spent time talking or exploring some new activity. This is even more important after the children are born.

Make time to listen

Even though we work in the same office, there were days when we just breezed through life without saying anything significant to one another. I had to learn to listen with undivided attention so that I could understand his needs. Frequent conversations was the key that made us feel connected.

Always forgive

We might have differing opinions, but we always attempt to resolve issues before sleeping. We need to remember that we are on the same side, not against one another. If there is a problem, it’s our problem, not the other person’s problem. Through the years, we had to learn what it means to speak kindly in the midst of a disagreement.
Ultimately, the very cord that holds us together is our love for Jesus Christ. It’s our belief system that kept us unified all these years. 14 years and counting.

If you would like to follow my marriage and parenting journey, please head on to Comma: Rethink Life.

Building a strong marriage

If you missed it, you can view some of the recent interviews uploaded on our marriage and parenting content page, Comma – Rethink Life on the topic of building a strong marriage. If you have been facing a rocky path after being married for 1 year, 5 years, or even 10 years or more, remember that you are not alone. There are many people who focus on the wedding, but forget about the marriage and working on it. There’s a lot of effort that goes into a marriage, and the journey is a marathon, not a sprint.

Here are 2 videos that you should definitely watch on this topic!

Please connect with us if you are struggling and we will able to direct you to a marriage expert who can help strengthen your marriage.

Follow Comma on Instagram or Facebook for more updates.

Slowing Down

Wow, it just occurred to me that the last blog post I did was 3 weeks ago! November has been a really busy month for the Stories team. In the past, I would attempt to blog at least twice a week so I do need to buck up! I promise that you’ll see more images here on the blog. As a full time mother, entrepreneur and photographer, my life can get pretty hectic. But last week, God spoke to me after I picked up my son from school. He was taking his sweet time to stop at every drain cover to peer into it, and poke his foot into any small hole he could find. I was annoyed and I wanted to move, fast.

But in that precise moment, I heard God’s soft voice telling me, “It’s ok. Just slow down and enjoy the moment with him. It’s about the journey, not just the destination.”

I caught myself. I could have just ranted and raised my tone of voice but I didn’t.

Last weekend, I could have scheduled in more shoots or work, but I made a choice to just go unplugged on a camping trip with my kids and some of their pre-school friends. It felt good to just be present emotionally and physically.

Celebration of Life: Cancer Free!


I believe that we should celebrate all stages in life, whether big or small. It could be the 1st birthday of your little one, the graduation of your child from university, or even celebrating health like being cancer free. Five years ago, my sister was diagnosed with breast cancer and it was a difficult time for the family. The future felt uncertain. My siblings and I had discussions about whether to go ahead with chemotherapy and what the next course of action would be. I still remember praying for my sister before her operation and I felt so clearly in my spirit then that the removal of the tumour would be complete and everything bad would be removed from her. I felt the peace of God just wash over me then.

Life carried on. She adopted a healthier lifestyle and everything seemed to resume to normal. It was only recently as I pondered upon it, that I realised 5 years had passed since she was cancer free. FIVE amazing years!

When I came across a friend of mine who was hand-making some amazing Breast Cancer Awareness t-shirts, I just had to ask her if I could order one from her. She did an amazing job, and gifted my entire family with not just 1, but 5 t-shirts! Thank you, Tanya Pong for your beautiful handiwork that reminds us… every woman who has ever fought breast cancer (or any form of cancer, really!) is indeed, a Wonder woman.


I think celebrating successes like these are so important. In the past, we have photographed some post-chemo clients even while they are still bald. It was a reminder to themselves that while illness is a fact of life we all have to face one day, at least for today, we can still smile, surrounded by people we love and who love us.


PS: It is always challenging executing your own family shoot when you are not behind the camera and your daughter is on grouchy mode. Thank you, Nat for helping us take these photos!

Life’s Precious Moments

There were a lot of changes in my life over the past one month. On the 1st of May, while en-route on a company trip to Club Med, I got the news that my mom was struggling with her last breath at home. It was over WhatsApp that I said my goodbye to her. She was 81. Her death did not come as a surprise, because the month before that, my sister and I were going in and out of hospital, trying to rescue her infected toe that was turning into gangrene. Towards the last few weeks of her life, she had a lung and bladder infection, and the doctor basically just told us to be prepared.


My mum, looking very hip then! And the photo below was taken with my dad years ago when he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. Read a bit more about his journey here.

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