Grace Tan

I read this article from a friend’s blog, and unfortunately, I do not know who to credit, but it’s such a great article that I felt I needed to share it here. It’s worth your 5 minutes reading this article on marriage. Deep down in my heart, I feel truly satisfied and happy that I married Alex. In almost random moments throughout the day, I tell Alex that I love him. I break into a silly grin when I hear him say the same thing… almost like young kids in love.

6 years of marriage and counting… Love you, dear!

PARTNERS AND MARRIAGE by Eduardo Jose E. Calasanz

I have never met a man who didn’t want to be loved. But I have seldom met a man who didn’t fear marriage. Something about the closure seems constricting, not enabling. Marriage seems easier to understand for what it cuts out of our lives than for what it makes possible within our lives. When I was younger this fear immobilized me. I did not want to make a mistake. I saw my friends get married for reasons of social acceptability, or sexual fever, or just because they thought it was the logical thing to do. Then I watched, as they and their partners became embittered and petty in their dealings with each other.

I looked at older couples and saw, at best, mutual toleration of each other. I imagined a lifetime of loveless nights and bickering days and could not imagine subjecting myself or someone else to such a fate. And yet, on rare occasions, I would see old couples that somehow seemed to glow in each other’s presence. They seemed really in love, not just dependent upon each other and tolerant of each other’s foibles. It was an astounding sight, and it seemed impossible. How, I asked myself, can they have survived so many years of sameness, so much irritation at the other’s habits? What keeps love alive in them, when most of us seem unable to even stay together, much less love each other?

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