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Grace Tan
In Life, Musings, Relationships

Welcome to Holland: Life with Down Syndrome

My first encounter with a Down Syndrome child happened while I was in Malacca, growing up as a teenager. I visited the Salvation Army frequently because of church. It was there that I met this boy… who seemed rather different. It’s sad to think that as a child, I was never educated about loving everyone equally, no matter how different they seem to me. Recently, I photographed a child with Down Syndrome, and honestly, I didn’t even realize it until her mom told me about the situation at the end of the session. She was still beautiful in my eyes. As a mom now, I felt an ache in my heart, and yet, I also wanted to pour out my love to this child… to tell her that she is very, very much loved.

This set of photos and story about Nella’s birth really touched my heart.

But the analogy below really stirred me. I never thought about it that way… it is so beautiful.

Holland

WELCOME TO HOLLAND

by Emily Perl Kingsley.

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability – to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It’s like this……

When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip – to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting. After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland.”

“Holland?!?” you say. “What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I’m supposed to be in Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.”

But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay. The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It’s just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met. It’s just a different place. It’s slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around…. and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills….and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy… and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.”

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away… because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss. But… if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things … about Holland.

Grace Tan
In For Photographers, International, Life, Musings

Fraser Island, Australia with the Panasonic GX7

Early this month, I was invited to Fraser Island, Australia to test out the new Panasonic Lumix GX7. The first time I laid eyes on it, I fell in love! It has a beautiful vintage look that will look good with any outfit I wear, plus, it fit my small hands perfectly. Over 2 days, I had the privilege of going around Fraser Island with this micro four thirds camera and a huge range of lenses. Thank God the camera and lenses were light, so lugging around 7 lenses in my sling bag was easy-peasy! I would definitely consider this camera as a travel buddy.

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The landscape at Fraser Island is just so raw and untouched. It is the largest sand island in the world, with the beach stretching over 123km in length. What was interesting to me was the fact that the beach is actually a designated highway so there are signs saying 80km/hr is the max you can go!

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Now can you imagine this landscape with a couple in the photo? Darn, I wish we had models to photograph!

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All the photos in this post were taken with the Lumix GX7 – minimally edited. I was really amazed at the quality and colour of the images. The curse of being a photographer is that sometimes, your photos never get to see the light of day because you’re always wanting to ‘edit’ your images before posting them online. I mean, I have been guilty of colour grading every single travel photo before posting it to Facebook! Since the images that come out of this camera look superb already, hopefully, it’ll cure me of this ‘editing’ disease that every photographer faces.

The 90-degree tiltable Live View Finder also made shooting interesting since I could see things from a different perspective. (Plus, it made me look cool – do refer to the first image in this post). One thing I had to get used to was learning to focus on the touch screen, but with the focus peaking feature, it gave me the confidence knowing that the highlighted edges in an image are the parts in focus.

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Grace Tan
In Life, Musings, Relationships

7 Years and Going Strong…

I was woken up this morning by a whatsapp message from my father-in-law – “Wishing u both Happy Anniversary today. Have a memorable day of reflection of all the happy events gone by n look forward to many years of happiness ahead. Leave Krysta with us n go enjoy the evening.”

Instinctively, I looked at the date on my phone… was it really August the 12th? I had forgotten completely about our wedding anniversary. I even had to take a few seconds to calculate how many years we’ve been married.

Uh oh… it’s started! The years of being together, always having the other person there, and never really stopping to think about celebrating special events. 

I never used to think much about celebrating events like Valentine’s Day or Wedding Anniversaries. But today, a thought flashed through my head, “Perhaps it’s there to remind us to never take the other person for granted. Ever.”

So today, I am grateful for our 7 years of marriage.

I am thankful that I have a wonderful husband who supports me emotionally through all my ups and downs (especially dealing with my worry-wart nature).

I am grateful that he always makes an effort to work on our relationship, especially during the days when we irritate each other so much.

I am amazed at how he loves my family through his actions… by going out of his way to fix my sister’s audio-visual system in her home or changing my dad’s diapers when it’s needed.

I am proud that he is a wonderful son to his own family, making special effort to bring every member of his family out on personal ‘dates’ so he can spend time with them intentionally.

My heart swells when I see him love Krysta with all his heart, how he would uncomplainingly wake up in the middle of the night when she cries, how he makes her giggle during playtime, and how he carries her through all our travels, sometimes for hours in his arms.

I am blessed.

Family-camerons

Taken during a recent family holiday in Cameron Highlands. 

Grace Tan
In Casual Portraits, Family + Children Portraits, Life, Musings, Portraits, Relationships

Cherished Moments & The Hui Family

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One of the most cherished items I have in my house are the canvas prints of my family photos, hung beautifully on the wall of my living room. The photos were taken at various locations and  at different times. But I remember each moment as if it was just yesterday. Recently, I started a wall of photos for my little girl, Krysta. Later, I hope to build a staircase filled of memories from various family events… some images could be as simple and routine as a meal at our dinner table.

Compared to our parent’s years when you’d only be taking photos at special events (film was expensive and not everyone owned a camera!)… images now flood every single moment of our life. I know of friends who would shoot burst mode on their phone cameras to capture that one moment where their kid is smiling at the camera. Unfortunately, those images stay in their phone (and the blur ones, if they are like me… sometimes NEVER get deleted… until, you are left with no choice when one day your phone tells you that you are running out of space).

But even with image technology getting better and better over time, it’s pretty rare that a family gets together for professional portraits (How often have I heard of comments by moms who say… The husband is behind the camera…somewhere!). And I know what it’s like to have your photo taken by Mr Tripod. It’s pretty dull and uninspiring.

So I do hope that we will have the honour of photographing your family and building your wall of memories. May each image be a small piece of the puzzle which tells a story of your life.

Recently, we photographed the Hui family. Mark and Mun Tzin are dear friends of ours. Mark is one of our resident photographer and Mun Tzin is an efficient and creative event planner, running her brand Milestones. Here’s a little story about her family.

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