Relationships

Sarah Lim In Comma Videos, Musings, Relationships

What happens after marriage?

Ever felt like life before the wedding is just PACKED with relationship advice and then it gets real quiet after? Think about it. Before the wedding you get all kinds of advice from your peers and other married couples, family members who generously share their thoughts on your partner or dating life, and of course – whatever social media directly or indirectly says about what a wedding and a “perfect marriage” should look like. Then the both of you say your vows, post up honeymoon photos, and come home to your new shared home. Before you know it, everyone has gone back to their routines and you both start to wonder where the support is when you need it most.

Talking to someone else about your marriage can be tricky. You always want to protect your partner’s feelings and reputation. People also tend to assume that whatever happens between a husband and wife “is to be managed privately” because “we are adults and can manage on our own.”

But nobody immediately turns into a mature adult on their 18th or 21st birthday, and nobody turns into a marriage expert or “perfect spouse” on the wedding day (or ever).

Yes, marriage is a journey between two committed persons, but as long as you’re Person, you will always need a good support circle no matter what season of life you’re in. Never be ashamed or afraid to reach out to someone whom you can trust, together. Whether it’s a peer, another senior married couple, your parents, a trusted mentor, or even a professional counsellor. In fact, don’t even wait for a tough day before you both share your lives with others. Include your community even on smooth-sailing days and they will know you’ve trusted them to keep the conversation going. It doesn’t have to stop at the wedding.

// Sarah has been married for over two years and both she and her husband enjoy spending time outdoors together.//

Follow our marriage and parenting site, Comma – Rethink Life for nuggets of wisdom on how to navigate these 2 areas of life.

Grace Tan In Comma Videos, Musings, Relationships

Building a strong marriage

If you missed it, you can view some of the recent interviews uploaded on our marriage and parenting content page, Comma – Rethink Life on the topic of building a strong marriage. If you have been facing a rocky path after being married for 1 year, 5 years, or even 10 years or more, remember that you are not alone. There are many people who focus on the wedding, but forget about the marriage and working on it. There’s a lot of effort that goes into a marriage, and the journey is a marathon, not a sprint.

Here are 2 videos that you should definitely watch on this topic!

Please connect with us if you are struggling and we will able to direct you to a marriage expert who can help strengthen your marriage.

Follow Comma on Instagram or Facebook for more updates.

Grace Tan In Comma Videos, Life, Musings, Relationships

Rekindling Romance in Marriage

As a wedding and portrait photographer, I have seen the extreme highs that couples go through as they set their sights on the one they love, and say their vows to always be there through good and hard times. Personally, as I also speak to couples in my daily life, I realize that it is easy to let the flames die out all too soon. Often times, arguments happen over seemingly small, trivial issues. But it points to deeper, unresolved issues, usually parent and family issues from the past.

This is my 13th year of marriage. I have to admit, while my love for Alex has grown deeper through the years, I have also gotten pretty complacent in our marriage. I don’t make much effort to surprise him (ever), think of doing things that truly please his heart or even attempt to wear beautiful lingerie to sleep (I had to put aside my pineapple pyjama pants because of this).

We’ve gotten way too comfortable towards each other.

That is why I appreciate the little things about him. How he does make the effort to do things like taking care of the kids while I go succulent shopping, plan mini stay-cations in the city or just prepare maggi mee by candle light in our bedroom after a long day of shoot.

I love him for all these little things and more. God is reminding me that while it is nice to be the recipient of all these little acts of love, I need to invest in his emotional tank too. I must go beyond my own comfort zone, laziness and make an effort to bring romance into the marriage over and over again.

I hope you do too. Happy Valentine’s Day.

(oh, and if you need some date night ideas with your spouse, head on over to Comma – Rethink Life and check out this post.)

Grace Tan In Life, Musings, Relationships

Slowing Down

Wow, it just occurred to me that the last blog post I did was 3 weeks ago! November has been a really busy month for the Stories team. In the past, I would attempt to blog at least twice a week so I do need to buck up! I promise that you’ll see more images here on the blog. As a full time mother, entrepreneur and photographer, my life can get pretty hectic. But last week, God spoke to me after I picked up my son from school. He was taking his sweet time to stop at every drain cover to peer into it, and poke his foot into any small hole he could find. I was annoyed and I wanted to move, fast.

But in that precise moment, I heard God’s soft voice telling me, “It’s ok. Just slow down and enjoy the moment with him. It’s about the journey, not just the destination.”

I caught myself. I could have just ranted and raised my tone of voice but I didn’t.

Last weekend, I could have scheduled in more shoots or work, but I made a choice to just go unplugged on a camping trip with my kids and some of their pre-school friends. It felt good to just be present emotionally and physically.

Grace Tan In Casual Portraits, Life, Musings, Portraits, Relationships

Celebration of Life: Cancer Free!

I believe that we should celebrate all stages in life, whether big or small. It could be the 1st birthday of your little one, the graduation of your child from university, or even celebrating health like being cancer free. Five years ago, my sister was diagnosed with breast cancer and it was a difficult time for the family. The future felt uncertain. My siblings and I had discussions about whether to go ahead with chemotherapy and what the next course of action would be. I still remember praying for my sister before her operation and I felt so clearly in my spirit then that the removal of the tumour would be complete and everything bad would be removed from her. I felt the peace of God just wash over me then.

Life carried on. She adopted a healthier lifestyle and everything seemed to resume to normal. It was only recently as I pondered upon it, that I realised 5 years had passed since she was cancer free. FIVE amazing years!

When I came across a friend of mine who was hand-making some amazing Breast Cancer Awareness t-shirts, I just had to ask her if I could order one from her. She did an amazing job, and gifted my entire family with not just 1, but 5 t-shirts! Thank you, Tanya Pong for your beautiful handiwork that reminds us… every woman who has ever fought breast cancer (or any form of cancer, really!) is indeed, a Wonder woman.

I think celebrating successes like these are so important. In the past, we have photographed some post-chemo clients even while they are still bald. It was a reminder to themselves that while illness is a fact of life we all have to face one day, at least for today, we can still smile, surrounded by people we love and who love us.

PS: It is always challenging executing your own family shoot when you are not behind the camera and your daughter is on grouchy mode. Thank you, Nat for helping us take these photos!