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Grace Tan
In Life, Musings, Relationships

Waiting to say “I Do!”

A few weeks ago, I heard this question posed over the radio… “Is it ok to marry someone who loves you less than you do?” Reminds me of some stories I heard through friends, of couples who have been together for years, the sparks are almost gone, but one party feels obligated to get married because of the years of relationship. Or one person who threatens to commit suicide if the other party doesn’t commit to a lifetime together.

Not everyone’s relationship is as dramatic as that, but that question got me thinking… how do you define the quantity of love? It seems like a slightly airy-fairy topic to me, because my partner may think that he loves me with all his heart, but I may not think his love is as intense as he describes it. It also depends on each person’s love language. If you have never heard of this concept before, do read the book or do this free quiz to find out what your love language is!

Looking back at my pre-married life of relationships with other guys, I do admit, there were times I was heartbroken when I sensed my love was a one way street… and then there were other times that I broke the other person’s heart because I didn’t ‘love’ him enough, even after years of being together.

Deep down, somehow, I just knew that I hadn’t found the right person.

One that I could truly say I loved with all my heart, and knew without a shadow of a doubt that he felt the same way towards me. (despite our differences in love languages!)

The issue of security remains something every woman struggles with. Breaking up with someone when you’re 23 or 32 makes a huge difference. So I can totally understand why some women opt to marry someone whom they know is 2nd best for them, just because they don’t want to be alone in life.

So, to wait, or not… ?

It’s a risk everyone takes, but personally, I think, if you’ve said the vows, commit to your decision, make it work, and don’t ever live in regret.

Grace Tan
In Portraits,

Pre-Wedding: Chee Onn & Debbie

Everyone claims that they are not good in front of the camera. I don’t blame them, because most people would not have taken professional photos of themselves prior to their wedding day. Studio photos of you blowing your 1-year-old birthday cake candle doesn’t really count!

It’s the job of the photographer to make you feel comfortable in front of the camera. To make everything look natural and not posed (even though it was!). To make it seem as if the photographer was non-existent, because the image should be about the couple and the moment they are sharing, not drawing attention to the person behind the camera. There are times when I ask the couple to look at the camera, but most of the time, their eyes are on each other. Just as it should be…

I totally enjoy photographing couples in love. Connection is something that cannot be forced. Of course, living in an Asian country, where most people have some ‘issue’ with public displays of affection, it’s normal to feel awkward initially kissing in front of a photographer! In every pre-wedding or engagement session, I tell my couples that it takes a bit of time to warm up, but once they do… they end up having a great time!

Debbie & Chee Onn:

Debbie didn’t really sleep the night before the shoot because she was really excited! It was kinda awkward at the very start because we are both not really the photo taking type. Grace, it was good that you were around to get us warmed up! We did not know what to expect on that day so we were just following your lead which was very good. After the shoot, we were pretty anxious about the pictures. We were afraid that we didn’t prepare enough for the shoot.

But after seeing the pictures, all worries were gone because it was good and you captured the right moments! We loved the black and white photos too, cause it gave a very retro feel to the pictures which we like a lot.

Thanks once again, for making the shoot memorable for us. :)

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Grace Tan
In Testimonials

Testimony: Stephen & Andrea

My parents have just flipped through our album and they were just as blown away as we were! Thank you for the beautiful photos, it meant a lot to me to capture pieces of my island even though I haven’t lived there in over a decade. They blew us away…

Saw your post on the website and we couldn’t be more excited for you! Congratulations and we wish you and your hubby (Mr Grace :) ) all the very best.

x
Andrea & Stephen Takac

(View their portraits taken at the E&O and Peranakan Mansion, Penang here)

* An excerpt from Stephen & Andrea’s album layout

Grace Tan
In Life, Musings, Relationships, Running a Business

Onward, preggie mummy!

* Credit goes to my hubby, Alex Lam for taking this photo of me. Of course, with a little guidance from the ‘bossy lady photographer’!

It’s now the 18th week of my pregnancy, and I must say, it’s been a good 4 months so far. Initially, I was really worried about how my body would fare, balancing pregnancy and photography. I am happy to report that I pretty much breezed through my 1st trimester…

  • I only had minimal bouts of nausea. The top 2 things that would trigger my nausea were the floor detergent used in my studio and the restaurant cooking steamboat downstairs from the studio.
  • I only vomited four times in my first trimester. And the toilet was not too far away too! Yay!
  • I didn’t have any cravings. Unfortunately, this meant that I deprived Alex of the privilege of buying roti canai for me at 3am in the morning. Oh wait, I did have a craving once. I insisted on having a Peranakan Itik Tim soup for lunch one day.
  • My taste buds did change though. Everything I ate tasted too salty or sweet. Until… I passed that phase and wondered why every dish my father-in-law cooked tasted bland.
  • I didn’t feel overly fatigued, though I did sleep slightly more than usual.
  • Finally, I had to buy new bras & clothes, but hey, who’s complaining when it comes to shopping!

Thankfully, I managed to get through all my shoots for the 1st trimester without fainting in exhaustion. It was great to hear feedback from my clients too, when they said things like…

“Grace, even though you are pregnant..  and assigned us a third photographer, we felt that it is very professional of you to help us capturing all the great moments of the day and all the hard work that you put in making that day unforgettable for us.   We were sort of a little worry for you as you trying so hard capturing some of the great moments for us in the church.  Make sure you take it slow in your upcoming photo shooting..

We would like to thank you from the bottom of our hearts for providing us with such beautiful memorabilia of our most precious day of our lives,  erm.. even though we didn’t have a chance to glance through our photos yet… and every one is asking for it already!!!!”

– Amy & Enoch – 

“Dear grace and team, thank you for those wonderful n absolutely gorgeous pics (ourselves included)! :) When we first met u, we were indeed taken back by ur TnCs (have to say v onerous :) ) but we saw what u can do and glad to say that we couldn’t be happier. So thank u for you and ur team’s profesionalism (ur pregnancy didn’t hamper ur ability, the mozzy didn’t affect ur team s spirit (mostly ours…hehe)..thanks!”

– Wilson & Elaine – 

So now that it’s the 2nd trimester, people tell me that it’s the ‘honeymoon’ stage of pregnancy. I would feel healthier, stronger and better. The months pass by so quickly. I am indeed cherishing every moment of my pregnancy!

Grace Tan
In Chinese Weddings, Outdoor Weddings, Weddings

Blue & White Wedding: Wilson & Elaine

I was stoked when Wilson and Elaine said that they’d use our little Smurfette, the VW kombi as their wedding car. I was even more excited when I discovered that their theme colours matched Smurfette completely – white & blue! Elaine is a hands-on bride, she planned and sourced for some of the wedding decorations that you’ll see in this blog post, even created the signage for the back of the kombi herself!

Well, even from our initial meeting about a year ago, I knew that she’d be a detailed person. After all, she is a lawyer, and working for such a big organization like the Marina Bay Sands, Singapore, you’d have to be meticulous. Needless to say, she pored over the T&C in my booking form prior to signing it. A little nerve-wracking to have to explain everything to a lawyer! Haha…

Wilson came across as someone who was really easy going, but completely supportive of Elaine. It’s a great combination to have as a couple. Wilson & Elaine, we had a blast at your wedding. Thank you for being so relaxed and letting me head off earlier, even before the dinner reception ended, since I was really quite tired from the pregnancy. I love how everything came together so beautifully, and how the morning Chinese theme blended in with the more western theme of the evening. All the best for the future!

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