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Being a Peacemaker

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This is the 9th year of my marriage. What incredible 9 years filled with joy, hurt, reconciliation, love and compromise. Deep down, I know that marriage comes with its own set of challenges. There’s no going into it feeling naive. There will come a time when you will argue, say hurtful things to one another and regret it. As a Christian, I’ve always based my marriage on the principles I read in the Bible. It really helps me to know that my husband values marriage and wants to work at it as hard as I do.

I recently read this verse that made me stop and think a little more about relationships.

They must turn from evil and do good;
they must seek peace and pursue it.
1 Peter 3:11

What really struck me were the words seek peace and pursue it.

It takes effort to keep the peace. It must be something that is worth pursuing and going all out for. We must be proactive in any relationship to maintain the peace, and not expect it to just ‘happen’. In any relationship, we have to believe that pursuing peace is worth the fight.

Which brings me to the other question… “What does peace mean, really?” (According to Alex, he says it’s when the wife doesn’t nag).

After giving it some thought, I think a peaceful relationship means that I can trust someone. That we are both working towards the end goal of each other’s happiness. It doesn’t mean we keep quiet or sweep under the carpet issues that need to be discussed just to ‘keep the peace’. It means talking things through and being mature enough to compromise sometimes.

I am not an expert at marriage, but I work at it. Hard.

Tenth Anniversary Family Portraits: Paul & Yin Huei

It’s been months since I took these photos of Paul, Yin Huei and their cute little family as a celebration for their 10th wedding anniversary. The children have grown but I thought it’d still be nice to share the images from our session together at Lake Gardens. Yin Huei, being creative, brought along a mirror for me to come up with different types of shots! She was also very comfortable in climbing trees like the one below, including reading old love letters from Paul! I thought it was really sweet of her.

Here’s what Yin Huei had to say about the shoot:

I wanted this photo shoot to mark this important milestone in our lives. We have come so far in this journey together, grown stronger together and been blessed by the most amazing children. I want us to be able to reflect on this moment many many years ahead and be warmed by this beautiful memory.

And I want to dedicate this to my husband and my children:
“I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride

So I love you because I know no other way.” 

Pablo Neruda (Sonnet XVII)

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Catholic wedding at Church of Divine Mercy: Lionel & Rebecca

Lionel_Rebecca_001“I had to level up my charm in order to convince her to change her mind…”

Lionel and Rebecca met back in 2006 when they were studying for their Certificate in Legal Practice at the Brickfields Asia College. Unfortunately for Lionel, Rebecca didn’t quite notice him until he made extra effort in charming her with his good looks, intelligence and persistence!

Rebecca: We clicked well but I never thought much of him back then. Not long after, he started to appear at my doorstep unannounced to surprise me. It started with one of our usual MSN conversations and I mentioned that I was craving for an Oreo Mcflurry. About an hour or so later and around 11pm, my doorbell rang – the boy had gone to the nearest McDonalds to get that Oreo Mcflurry and rushed to my place just so that I could have my ice-cream.

I remember being stunned and I felt compelled to invite him in and to share the ice-cream with him since he had come all the way. I also remember being embarrassed because I was dressed in ‘home clothes’ and totally unprepared for visitors at that hour! From then on, Lionel started to surprise me more and did nice things for me. Just before the exam, he bought a whole box of brands essence of chicken to keep me going. Picked me up and gave me a lift to class when I was not feeling well. Even changing seats in class just so he could sit next to me (and ignoring the teasing in the process).

Lionel is a pretty shy and quiet person but clearly, he was not shy in showing that he was interested! Eventually, he expressed his interest with a bouquet of flowers. I was not sure if I was interested at that time but some time later, I decided to give it a go and I’m glad I did.

Throughout our 7 year relationship, we have had way more ups and downs. Lionel is incredibly calm, patient, supportive and kind. He balances the impatient side of me and accepts me for who I am including my faults. He gives the warmest hugs and makes me feel safe. He tells me I’m beautiful even when I’m not looking or feeling it. He tells me “its okay” when I’ve been silly. He makes me laugh. He enjoys going shopping with me. He shows me the respect every girl wants. I cannot get any luckier than that.

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