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Grace Tan
In Life, Musings

Who’s a Risk-taker?

I had a panic attack. Seriously. I felt as if I couldn’t really breathe and started to think of the worst case scenario. It happened yesterday evening when Alex called me to tell me that the Bangladesh high commission was closed for their Victory day and he could not collect my passport. This would be all fine and dandy if it weren’t for my scheduled flight to Singapore today.

Since I’ll be traveling to Bangladesh in January 2011, I needed to apply for a visa. There were many issues that we faced the past 2 weeks… from our travel agent saying that we did not have enough documents, to the travel agent calling us again and saying that we had to go PERSONALLY to apply for the visa, then us traveling there, me running to KL again to pick up my passport to be told that you could only get it between 4-5pm and not any other time.

Which eventually led to the incident yesterday. As I am writing this blog post, I am sitting at the airport now waiting for my flight (which is delayed by the way, thanks Tiger!). Alex, being the calm and collected person that he is, told me not to worry.

Not to worry!????!

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Grace Tan
In Life, Musings

Meaningful objects

I guess I am a little sentimental. These things make me feel a little sad. You see, it reminds me of the past. Of laughter, sadness, anger, love… all the emotions that were experienced in this home. And then it brings my thoughts to the present. And what life is really like right now.

I visited my old home in Malacca today. It’s been empty for almost a year now. My parents have moved up to KL since it is no longer feasible for them to live on their own. But when I opened the doors and stepped onto the dusty floor of my living room, I felt as if time had just stood still. Everything was there where it was left months ago. The towel still on the chair, the toothpaste at the sink, the old Maggi mee that I had to throw away, photos of my family…

It was just there.

As if waiting for someone to claim them back.

It is inevitable. My siblings and I need to make the time to pack up the old things and sell the house, but there’s been many memories of this place and I’ve always called it home. But life is temporal and things change.

So, it is time to move on.

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Grace Tan
In Life, Musings, Relationships

Of life and relationships

As I sit in hospital looking at my mum sprawled on her bed, looking so fragile, I can’t help but think of the countless times in the past when this same scene played out before me. First, the stroke when I was 13, then the heart attack years later, then the heart bypass… in the midst of all that illness, my mum found her faith in Christ.

When Pastor Kee came over to pray for my mum the other day, he read from Psalm 121, one of the Psalms that I truly love.

I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

My mum’s roommate is this old Indian lady who has a rare colon disease. She has been in hospital for the past 3 weeks. I see her elderly husband sitting by her side on the uncomfortable hospital chair, day and night, keeping her company. She doesn’t talk much, her medication keeps her drowsy, but her husband just sits by her side, in silent comfort. It must be really tough and tiring being in the hospital for that long. I am just so inspired by this man’s dedication to be by his wife as she goes through this illness.

My dad, when he sees my mum in hospital, shows his care by asking her if she has eaten, if she is comfortable. I can tell that he is worried for her. At home, his Alzheimer’s kicks in, and he asks my sister, “Isn’t someone supposed to be here?” (points to his bed).

I can’t help but feel a little saddened by the many sick people I see in the hospital. I guess it’s easy to just ignore when things are going ok, when you are just out there, doing your own thing, living your life without any interruptions. Not everyone, like the old Indian lady, has family members who care.

It’s time to stop, reflect and show some love.

My mum and dad, taken during my family portrait session in 2009.

Grace Tan
In Life, Musings

My first digital camera


Here’s some of the stacks and stacks of boxes we painstakingly handpacked! * iPhone photos

We rummaged through the cupboards, we packed our belongings into boxes and we taped them shut. Four years into marriage, our life as we knew, was changing radically. A new dawn peeks through the ominous clouds, as we prepare for the big move.

Some events in life are unforeseen. Some events are the catalyst for greater things. After marriage and renovating our current sanctuary, as we call it, Alex and I are moving to a larger space – one that will house a mini-theatre cum consultation space so that we can pamper our prospects and clients. But that is not the core reason for moving, it’s to provide shelter for my elderly parents in their twilight years.


My mum loves the mustard at Ikea, so we bring them there once in awhile as a “treat”! * mobile phone photo

In between boxes, Alex pulled out a relic from days gone by that triggered so many memories – from holidays on tropical islands to backpacking trips to fun outings with friends. We found our first digital camera! Not one, but two of them! Here’s the story.

Alex had been interested in photography and bought a Sony DSC-S75, based on the recommendation of a friend. It was only a 3MP camera, but it had fully manual functions and was very much an awesome piece of wizardry. On a seemingly pleasant day, after he discovered the joys of diving, he bought an underwater housing from eBay and hit the salty waters of Tioman Island with vigour. *cue horror music*

As you’re probably imagining by now, and are probably right, the housing failed to perform and it flooded. One thousand five hundred ringgit vanished, just like that. After giving him an earful (sorry darling!), we rushed out to buy… the exact same model! The camera was great and so were the photos. Squint a little at the photo and pick out the size of the ever so spacious memory card we had!

Grace Tan
In Life, Musings

A dog with a message

Nowadays, it’s really hip to be green. Everyone is into doing environmentally friendly stuff, like in our office, we try to recycle plastic, tin and paper, and also do little things like making sure we use tupperwares or plates to tapao or pack our food, instead of using the usual styrofoam containers. We turn off lights or power switches if we are not using them, and choose fans over air-conditioning (when the weather permits!! This is more for me at home).

Soooo… I was really tickled when I saw this dog, named Boy, at a recent wedding I shot, with this green message. Makes me want to own a dog so that I can flash cool messages like that!

Next up… he’ll be in another outfit for the wedding… but that’s for another blog post.

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