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Time and The Notion of Success

Recently, a series of events has caused me to think about life, our notion of success and what we do with our time. I came across this post by one of my favourite photographers Jasmine Star, where she talked about the notion of busyness, and how oftentimes, we equate it with success.

“Oh, you’re busy? Your business must be very successful then!”

But she pointed out in her post that rest and relaxation are equal indicators of success… that it is important to have a work-life balance and have time for friends and family members.

A week ago, Alex and I started the first of a series of parenting classes conducted by our church. In this course, we watched a DVD with real, parenting issues as brought up by Nicky and Sila, the trainers. Then we discussed these issues between us and also in a small group setting. Through this course, we were reminded that children really need to feel loved and that one of the ways of filling their emotional tank is to spend intentional time with them.

One of the pitfalls of running your own business is the need to ‘constantly’ work 24-7. There were days when Alex and I would be sitting in bed, but both still replying emails or doing some form of work. It came to a point that I thought it was really unhealthy and we needed to set aside boundaries for ourselves. How easy it is to let time slide by, just doing things that consume us at that point in time, but not really things that are truly important!

In the video for the 1st week, a dad related the story of how he used to tell bedtime stories to his daughter, but every so often, his phone would ring, and she would plead with him to just ignore it and finish the story. He would say, “This is important…” and then one phone call led to another and another, and then half an hour later, he would come back to her room with her fast asleep with the light still on and the book next to her head. But now, if you ask him, he can’t remember a single one of those calls that were ‘truly’ important, or what the content of them were.

It is really my heart’s desire to set aside time for the things that matter in life. The thing is that busyness will always be there. It will always consume us and before we know it, a day has gone by, and then a week, and then a month, or a year. If I don’t make intentional time for my family, or for friends, I’ll soon discover that all I ever did was being ‘busy’ with daily life and tasks.

To end this post, I’d just like to share a little video that Alex and I made. The journey of being a parent has been really amazing and one that we wouldn’t trade for the world. I used to think that being pregnant was a bit of a nuisance and a necessary ‘evil’, especially as a photographer. But after going through it with my first child, I realized there is no real convenient time to be pregnant. It shouldn’t be thought of as a burden, but as a gift. A beautiful gift from God.

Trailer: Krysta+Kyle from Stories on Vimeo.

Mom Is Beautiful

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As a 1.5 year old mom, I now fully appreciate what my parents used to do for me – the endless hours of sacrifice making sure that I grew up to be a responsible, mature adult. Memories of my mom include her waking up in the wee hours of the morning to prepare breakfast for me every day before I go to school. I did get sick of the milo, bread and half-boiled eggs after a while, but it was all done with love. My mom did not go to university, but she worked hard. After she was retrenched from her job in the fisheries department, she started her own business out of necessity.

She sold Pyrex, Arcopal (for those who don’t know what they are… they are heavy sets of dining plates, bowls, pots etc!) to anyone who was interested. She would travel mostly to the kampung in Malacca to sell to her majority Malay clientele. Even if the set was worth RM300, she would offer them an instalment plan, and diligently come back month after month to collect a mere RM10. The plates were definitely heavy, and I recall her having to lug it on her own to some of her client’s homes. As a child, I sometimes followed her on these trips (grudgingly). It was tough work, but she never complained (at least not to me!) and succeeded in her business.

When the Chinese New Year season came around, she would wake up at 5am to make cookies to sell them. Thousands and thousands of them. I was a very naughty daughter. I hated having to help in the kitchen, and tried to escape whenever I could, much to her despair. She would labour in the kitchen till midnight, and had to endure lots of nagging from my dad who didn’t like seeing her work so hard.

Well it did take a toll on her, and she fell sick when I was 13. My mom had a stroke which left her half paralyzed. She couldn’t do anything and had to learn to hold a fork and spoon again, learn to walk etc. It was really frustrating for her and my dad but she pulled through. She learnt how to drive again after much perseverance. I learnt that from her. To never give up despite life’s circumstances.

Now, my mom is 77, and she is not all she used to be. Her heart problems and other health issues has made her retreat into a shell. I feel a little sad about it all but I am glad that when she sees my daughter Krysta, her face lights up, if only for a few minutes.

Mummy, I love you. I don’t think I say it often enough.

xoxo,
Grace

Contest Details and T&C:

1. Find a photo with you and your mom (it could include other family members).
2. Write a story about why she is beautiful to you (any length!)
3. Share it with us by posting it on our Facebook wall (www.facebook.com/stories.my) before midnight Malaysian time on 16th May 2014.
4. Our judges will decide on the best (or most touching) story and decide on one winner.
5. The winner will receive a 1 hour family portrait shoot from Stories. The shoot must be done on a weekday before 31 August 2014. You can choose to do the shoot in our studio or outdoors within the Klang Valley. A Stories photographer will be assigned for the shoot. The winner will receive 20 soft copy images (printable up to 8R size) and one 12″ x 8″ matte print.
6. A limitation of up to 8 people is allowed for the shoot.
7. A surcharge of RM100 is chargeable for weekend dates. Outstation surcharge of RM800 applies for shoots done outside of Klang Valley. Costs of flights / transportation & accommodation is not included.
8. To purchase the entire set of high resolution images, a fee of RM500 is chargeable.
9. Up to 2 postponement of dates is allowed, however, if a 3rd postponement is required, the prize is considered forfeited.

Extended Family Portraits: Irwin & Vanessa

We photographed both Irwin and Vanessa’s family over 2 sessions, and while they were fun in their own different ways, the whole purpose and gist of these shoots is best summarized through Vanessa’s open and honest sharing below, which she has graciously allowed me to repost here. Vanessa, thank you for reminding us about how sovereign God is, but also to appreciate the daily, little things in life, and most importantly, relationships around us.

Vanessa’s Story

“In July 2013, my dad was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease – a degenerative neurological condition that doctors say is incurable.

My dad is one who comes across as a charismatic leader, always enthusiastic about work and life; never defeated by challenges no matter how big. Although the brut he may be at times (I know this because I work for him), I know I can always count on him for solutions to all my problems.

After learning of his condition, for many months, I lived in denial and could not come to terms with his diagnosis. For me, I just could not reconcile how a global entrepreneur like him, so respected in the industry could be ‘taken’ by such a degenerative, incurable disease. And I thought to myself, how could I ever speak of it to anyone for fear of ruining our business and reputation?

However, my dad has taken a totally opposite approach from Day 1 after being diagnosed of his condition! He has spoken openly about it to everyone – And in his Christmas whatsapp message to our Family group chat, this is what he wrote:

“I feel privileged to be chosen by God (to have PD). He is using me for His plan and purpose. He may continue to allow my condition to deteriorate to such an obvious physical extent before His miraculous and complete restoration. Eventually God wants all my friends globally to know that He is still in control of the situation if we turn to Him. He can perform miracles as we have seen in our families.”

I don’t know what tomorrow will bring for my dad’s health, but I have decided that every day from now till then is yet another day to rejoice and to be thankful for. I thought it would be apt to organize this photo session just to capture this moment of our lives – that despite life’s changes and uncertainties, we still find our strength in a God who is constant and ever faithful.”

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Family Portraits: Simon & Monique

Simon and Monique live in the UK, but were back for a short holiday in Malaysia, where they decided to have a family shoot together. Unfortunately, on the day of the shoot, they got terribly lost getting to our shoot location since they haven’t been driving around Malaysian roads for a while. Monique’s mom, dad and aunt had arrived but we had to try our best to give them manual directions since she didn’t have a smart phone on her. I can’t believe how much we rely on Google maps and GPS etc. I remember years ago, I had to read and place stickers on a STREET DIRECTORY book before I head out for any shoot. Needless to say, getting there was a huge source of stress for me.

Well, eventually, they found their way, but was naturally quite flustered by the time they got to the location. I had the task of calming everyone down and having to come up with beautiful family photos, and make a good experience out of it. So a photographer’s job not only involves technical aspects, but people skills too, all the time! Good thing was that grandparents immediately smiled when they saw cute little Ethan. It was his first time seeing his Malaysian family on this trip! What a trooper he was, cause I am sure it wasn’t easy posing and smiling in humid KL weather.

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Wedding Tea & Talk: 27th April 2014

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Come and join us for an informal tea session this 27th April and meet some amazing wedding vendors while you’re at it. We’ll be sharing some tips for couples planning their wedding and you can ask us anything at all during this gathering! Light refreshments, tea and coffee will be served. Here are the list of vendors that will be there on that day, other than ourselves.

Bridal Makeup, Hair & Nails – Bridal Glam
Wedding Planning – Milestones
Wedding Jewellery – OE Fine Jewellery
Wedding & Evening Gowns – That Special Occasion
Cupcakes – 12 Cupcakes
Cookies – Sugar Art Diva
Ice-Cream – Delizio

Please email Lee Kuen at [email protected] to book your seat.